I went with the hand woven silk, which is pretty stiff and thicker than silk crepe, so it has less drape. It sticks out and is A-line, which isnt a shape I normally go for! I wish I'd gone for the figure hugging crepe instead.
She did the empire line though, with a ruched bust and a lovely little sash under, which I wanted and a matching lacey bolero.. and I am having 'waves' of organza hugging the dress from under the bust to the floor.. like the sea. So thats all good, I'm just not sure the overall effect actually suits me !!
Ah thanks.... not if my hair keeps dropping out, lol! So heres is the 3 pictures that inspired my dress design! But not as floaty (cos of the stiffer silk):
So um.... not sure what its going to end up looking like !! I just called the seamstress about my worries, but she is on holiday for 2 weeks !! Oh dear...
(1) Trust him -- he was in horrible pain. Find compassion. The GF was a fantasy fix -- their R wasn't really about either of them, but rather self-medicating.
(2) Don't mess with your fertility. Go as soon as possible. Do the IVF as soon as possible. IVF won't work forever, and your chances plummet with every month that goes by. Right now, your chances are not great. In six months, they'll be much worse. My doc tried to push me to move faster, I didn't. I look young, menopause comes late in my family, a few months won't matter, my previous pregnancy no problem, blah blah blah. Multiple IUIs, 4 rounds of IVF, no pregnancy, no sibling for DD. Stop fooling yourself. You are already having problems. Egg quality declines incredibly quickly, no matter how regular your periods. IVF is really not that big of a deal. Shots are really not a big deal, the procedures are minor. It is somewhat tough physically and emotionally for a short while, more exhausting and draining than anything else, but it ends in a short while too. Good luck, but really, if you want your own children and don't want to use donor eggs, act NOW. BTW, there are plenty of online support communities for IVF that can be helpful if you AVOID getting caught up in the drama.
I do trust him, implicitly, I always did! He was never a womaniser. There is a tiny fraction of me that isnt as complacent as I was before and I dont like it when he has to work with her (there are only 2 organisations here that do what they do so he works on their projects sometimes), but I think thats only natural.
I also had compassion for him all the time we were separated and I think thats key to DBing. To be forgiving and compassionate. I say to him that it isnt possible to love him anymore than I already do.
As for the IVF, thanks for the encouragement! Its hard to know whats the 'right' thing to do. Ideally, I wouldnt want ANY medical intervention, but its been 6 months. They have said we are "unexplained", although 6 months of trying isnt THAT long, time is against us so we are on the list for IVF
Things are going great. Little things..since I got upset that he had phoned her on his mobile after saying he had had no contact with her and he insisted it was his work colleagues sharing phones.. he has stopped bringing his work mobile home. I am sure its just so that he doesnt risk upsetting me, becuase there will be times he has to call her for work, but there is nothing to worry about and he cant keep repeating that.
There are still times I feel an urge to mention the past, in the context of appreciating the now compared to the then...but he ALWAYS grimaces and doesnt like it. He said he was sorry, he knows its selfish of him, but it just still makes him feel so bad for how he behaved. I really virtually never mention it though.
Other than that, he is his usual devoted self and we are super busy with wedding plans! And we got a date to start IUI, 28th July... So why do I feel so down and a bit lonely lately ???
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
