MWD explains this in the DR book Opti, in the infidelity section
Note ;
1. Agree to end the affair 2. Deny the affair exists 3. Acknowledge the affair is happening, but refuse to end it
Most of the time the spouse will do 2 or 3, very rarely will you get a 1
If you get a 2, things get quiet for a few days, the WS will start watching over their shoulder, they will change passwords, they may start telling everyone they are "not married anymore" just to cover themselves if YOU expose them
If you get a 3, everything above happens AND they definitely start telling everyone (rarely do they not thogh I have seen it happen - an admission plus no introducing to friends and family)
The confrontation raises the stakes, much like a poker game... ever play poker Opti?
