FM: LauraOh, it wasn't my experience that my shifting changed H's behaviour. Long before the separation I made some progress in detaching and became much less reactive around H. In some ways that seemed to almost make things worse. Someone who wants conflict (even while claiming to avoid conflict) will create that kind of drama even if you don't feed the fire IME.
this is interesting. i've read there's an extinction period on all our behaviors. if you work on changing them, that is. and they can peak and get WORSE on the way out.
