Well today is the day. Going to tell my W that I'm going to start talking to lawyers regarding my rights and to begin working through the dissolution process.
I have to say that I am comfortable with whichever way this ends up. Can't say that I was before.
Good for you. Not happy for you though, you know?
I'm sorry it has come to this for you. I'm glad that you have come to the point that you realize you have done everything possible to salvage your M. No regrets.
Fight for what you and your kids deserve. You are a great dad and your kids know that. As they get older, they will understand the person you are and how much you tried. They will respect and admire that.
Well today is the day. Going to tell my W that I'm going to start talking to lawyers regarding my rights and to begin working through the dissolution process.
I have to say that I am comfortable with whichever way this ends up. Can't say that I was before.
Good for you. Not happy for you though, you know?
I'm sorry it has come to this for you. I'm glad that you have come to the point that you realize you have done everything possible to salvage your M. No regrets.
Fight for what you and your kids deserve. You are a great dad and your kids know that. As they get older, they will understand the person you are and how much you tried. They will respect and admire that.
As I do.
Thanks IDU, I appreciate it.
Talk went pretty quickly. It was basically only me doing any talking. W just sat there, kind of looking like a defiant teenager.
I asked her how her meeting with her pastor went. She said "Good. It was a good talk. He said he was there to help."
I told her I didn't see her being open to reconciliation, so I was going to start talking to lawyers to begin the dissolution process. I told her it was not what I wanted, but that she has never shown me any indication that there was any other solution.
I said I will do my best to remain friendly (not "friends") and not be vindictive, but that I hope she understood if I found that difficult. "You are either my wife, or some woman who steals half of my kids' lives from me" I said. And I will treat you accordingly.
She still denied that the affair went PA, but it was pretty pathetic and weak.
She didn't get emotional for once. I asked her what she was waiting for, why she hadn't filed. She said she hadn't gotten direction from God yet. I said nothing, but she sounds just like the guy on the roof from coach's story he posted here a couple of weeks ago.
In a strange coincidence, after W left an email from the pastor she spoke with was in my inbox. Asked how I was, and said that they were contacting the OM to set up a meeting.
I called back to fill them in on my conversation. He expressed his sympathy, and said that even if our marriage does dissolve, their church now has to deal with the fact that my W and the OM are blatantly in a relationship and attending services. He said it was not his call as he's not the lead pastor, but he said a decision would need to be made as to whether or not they are welcome in the church.
Oh well, just one in a long line of consequences my W will soon be facing.
Anyone have advice on vetting lawyers? Called one and she charges $250 for a consultation. Left a message for another.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
Nothing to add but support. Your W is so much in the fog right now it's unbelievable.
When she was saying that stuff about how God hadn't given her direction, I would have said, "Actually God wanted me to give you a message. Thou shalt not commit adultery. I think He wrote it in your bible somewhere."
Isn't the OM married? What does his W think of all this?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
When she was saying that stuff about how God hadn't given her direction, I would have said, "Actually God wanted me to give you a message. Thou shalt not commit adultery. I think He wrote it in your bible somewhere."
Nothing to add but support. Your W is so much in the fog right now it's unbelievable.
When she was saying that stuff about how God hadn't given her direction, I would have said, "Actually God wanted me to give you a message. Thou shalt not commit adultery. I think He wrote it in your bible somewhere."
Isn't the OM married? What does his W think of all this?
LOL - wish I had thought of that.
OM's wife is holding on, says she still loves him, but also said that a PA would be a deal breaker for her. Don't know what she'll do now that I've told her that I'm sure it is a PA now.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
Maybe the two of you should confront them together. If not for your M, but for hers. If I wasn't against having kids involved, I would have had them join in also.
Nothing like two sinners walking into a room with their spouses and kids looking at them and saying "we need to talk".
If I predict correctly, the OM would throw your W under the bus at that point. There's your sign!
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Maybe the two of you should confront them together. If not for your M, but for hers. If I wasn't against having kids involved, I would have had them join in also.
Nothing like two sinners walking into a room with their spouses and kids looking at them and saying "we need to talk".
If I predict correctly, the OM would throw your W under the bus at that point. There's your sign!
Even if we did something like that, there's no way the OM would throw my W under the bus. He started this whole thing, he went through 2 years of unsuccessful MC, and moved out of his house on his own. He wants no part of his wife, which has contributed to the perfect storm that destroyed my family.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
