embracing change

[flowmom]

Thanks for your reply Alice.

And maybe some good networking for more future business?

Yes, though things in my field are really terrible. It's pretty discouraging because I can't easily take advantage of the earning opportunities that do exist because a lot of it is based on travelling out of town for about 10 days at a time.

It's nice to hear a positive outcome- for us too, thanks for sharing- that someone else had.

I guess so...but I wonder if the positive outcome extends to her children. They are living in two homes, and cared for by two parents who are both "in love" in new relationships. It's hard to start a new life and keep your focus on the children. Her new BF is essentially in a parenting role with them. He is a great guy so maybe it's a net positive in their life, but still...it's a lot for them to process. And that's assuming they don't end up living through a breakup between my friend and her BF.

Can you tell that I'm still having trouble looking on the bright side as far as the children are concerned?

I had a flash back to a couple months ago when many of your posts were about feeling stuck and procrastinating about a lot of things. The change in how you're moving forward is pretty big- I wonder if you recognize that?

Unfortunately I'm still feeling pretty stuck on the procrastination stuff. I've had tiny movement in that area, but what I need is to develop the skills to deal with that, and a sense of confidence in myself that I can and will take action to address the important things in my life.

The financial stuff is really bothering me. Because H's spousal and child support will be dependent on his earning, it's really not something I can count on. For all I know he'll be on dialysis in a couple of years, or refuse to work more than the bare minimum so that he has time to start a new life, or whatever. There is no obligation on his part to maintain any level of income, and his plan is likely to force me into taking a much greater role in that. Which is fair enough, but scary for me.

I'm having thoughts about shifting how I earn money. For example, if I could find clients who were willing to be flexible, perhaps I could do cleaning lady stuff. Procrastination would be less of an issue there. The money is not as well paying as my professional work, but possibly easier to schedule around H's childcare availability. The professional work is discouraging right now because my skills are soooo rusty, the procrastination is huge, and I just don't have the confidence any more .

Funny. I've been having dreams about meeting/being with new men almost every night- some celebrities , some regular guys. Wonder what THAT means??

You're great at GAL...doing it even in your dreams .

I swear, I do not know how you and others deal with an OW/OM.

Is sticking my head in the sand dealing with it? Right now "what I don't know can't hurt me" is working for me. My life is an exercise in figuring out what's my business and what isn't my business and constantly redirecting myself to what's my business.

Can you imagine a time when you really will not care one way or the other what he does R-wise? I try to remind myself how this feels by looking back at my other L/T Rs that I thought I wouldn't ever get over and knowing that it no longer bothers me who they're with, etc. because I am detached and have moved on.

I can't really imagine not caring what H does R-wise because it's very likely that OW will be in a parental role with my children, possibly with step-siblings in tow. Kind of boggles the mind.