Hi Everyone, I needed a day or so break from the forum to really think about things and figure out what I wanted to do. After talking to a therapist and several addiction/mental health professionals I made the decision that to keep husband's sex addiction/compulsivity and alcohol/gambling problems a secret would also be enabling him.
I had a meeting with his parents and told them everything and told them that he needs help. They were very supportive and concerned and on my side. I know everyone on here has had an opinion about what I should or shouldn't do but I want to say that after the meeting I felt free - I felt like I had made the right choice. My husband needs help. I don't claim to think I can save him but I also know that he is in danger and if something happens I would feel guilty knowing I stood by and watched and didn't try.
At this point it is not about our marriage. His parents and I had several phone calls with treatment facilities/interventionists and they are going to meet on their own with a therapist this week and then decide how they want to handle it. That may include just them confronting him or that may be in intervention.
I don't think its possible unless you have gone through it to describe the amount of anguish I was feeling - I was keeping this secret and I couldn't do it anymore.
Right now we have about a two week window we are working in to try and detemerine the next course of action so during that time I'm not going to be switching accounts, I'm really not doing anything that might cause alarm that could disrupt the help we are trying to offer him.
After that time, his course of action will determine my next steps. At this moment, I dont really know what I'm going to do. If he does not get help, I am leaning towards filing right away and siting desertion and adultery. Lawyer said I may be able to get alimony.
I'm still very upset and confused but I don't feel so alone now and I feel like I did the right thing.
Also, I'm not even going to lie. One of my reason for waiting for file would be that currently husband has to pay half of mortgage and utilities. If I file right now thre is a chance I will not get alimony and will lose my home. I almost would want to wait until the last I could so I could continue to live here and formulate more of a plan. My lawyer also said that I can couter-file. So, if for some reason my husband filed before me I could file against him for desertion/adultery which is good to know.
