PMA needs a dose of positive

[beastiemanager]

Hello everyone.

i don't post often but i read very much. The stories here are a comfort. To make a long story short, H in mlc. H moved out may 09. Crisis began 08, maybe 07. Just took a couple of his things, bag of clothes and personal items, otherwise you would think him still here. He moved in with male friend, and I have been in NC for 6 months. I believe there is active OW. Or so there seems. OW recently posts on popular people web site, she is "in relationship." H tries to hide it, she puts it out to cyber-space. Because, of course, people ask her who it is. I don't think H even knows about this on web site. I was told by STORE CLERK that it was my H that was "relationship partner", so they heard. Truthfully, I think it has been off\on for couple years.

I am tired and impatient with long haul. I need a dose of PMA.
i have been backsliding a bit last 2 weeks. Family emergency has prompted contact via text, with H. And I had left him note about some unrelated things. I have a hard time getting everything into sync, a rhythym. I try to remember evrything I should be doing and not doing. I get one thing down and then I fail to see how it is connected in another way, then I slip there. so will I get into a rhythym? Gawwh!!!

H comes once a week to do mail check and take care of bills and such. He has an afternoon to do things, but he limits it to about 2 hours. It was a boundary I had set at NC time. He has requested in past via text, that he has "NO FEELINGS", (everyone one here knows about this!) One minute he wants to be adults about this, civil and divorce. then itis quiet. These texts came like every 2 weeks, on a certain night. But I just refuse each request. Now I have set boundary of letter writing. Those requests in a letter. My repsponse in letter. I have a helper guiding me through this mlc puzzle and I don't want to wear her out, so she has suggested a few times for me to post here. Anyway, will I get it to come together?

Thanks for reading,
Beastie