This is the type of thing that I have been trying to warn people about. Yes, "do no harm", those are the exact words I have used.
Negotiation. Listening. Empathy. Marriage is a relationship, not a battle. I don't know how you exposed her. If you publicly humiliated her, that could be a lasting problem. If all you did was confront her, this could be a crisis that could lead to a better resolution. Your current attitude sounds good. Try not to treat her like the enemy. There is too much emphasis on fighting in the phrase "fighting for my marriage". Try to think of it more as negotiating for my marriage.
Thanks Lotus.
Ultimately, wether this ends in D or Reconciliation, this is someone I love with all my heart, whom I do not want to hurt, and who is the mother of my son. We will always be a part of each others lives, and our family, together or separated, will ultimately be better if we can work together, not against each other. I've told her that I want to work with her, but that we need to accept that we are working towards opposite goals. And I will tell her that my two dealbreakers are just that, dealbreakers, and we both need to agree to respect those boundraies.
