You know her best. I've personally RARELY seen that approach work, but I don't have to live with the consequences, so you have to feel confident in the approach that you're using.
It just seems to me that you're allowing her reactions to your moves change your strategy (not just your tactics), when that reaction (anger, escalation, obfuscation, deceit, etc.) is TOTALLY PREDICTABLE and totally "SCRIPT."
No one's saying to make this "all out war." I am, however, advocating a strong, unwavering, calm approach.
