I want to save my R.

My M is dead.

I have to focus on only those things I (capital I) can do to meet this goal of saving R and forming new and improved M.

The fact that my wife wants a D, but wants to go through this without friction is problematic.

I have been playing along and allowing her to go down this road. Getting info from lawyer and sharing it with her, showing her our debt sitch, showing her how we could work on debt sitch.

All these are things I thought I was doing right because she wants a D and I cannot stop her. BUT should I then force her to file and simply stand my ground saying I want this to work?

I am getting confused about some things. Isn't dragging my feet controlling the sitch, or trying to?

Should I just live as if she is not there, but with respect when she wants something?

Current status in house is this.
I am taking care of 99% of domestic chores.
We are still in the same bed, but I have started sleeping in other room via some excuse for the kids when I can.

She has given me the ILUBIANILWU rebuttal to my failed bargaining. (I know bad move, but I was in a major backslide at the time)

I have started to go out a bit(GAL)and to be in another room when she is home.

She wants to bomb kids in about three weeks.

I am juggling forums, Old Pilot links, and trying to finish Mich's DBing to get a handle on everything.

I am not quitting.

I am worried that I am caught up in trying tactics and in doing detaching and they seem to work against one another, but I do not know if W is WAW or MLC or, as I am sure can happen, a bit of both.

There WERE signs. She did communicate issues like feeling she was not and should be priority number one. She also stated she felt like crap and the bad guy in the parenting sitch.
Then for months it was upstairs with the Blackberry right after work. My first intro to DBing was an article on another sight by Mich on the WAW. I actually SHOWED this to my W.

At the same time she turned 40 (Nov last year), went to Vegas, has tried new careers, gone off to old sorority events (she did not even join til Jr. year), and been pretty independent.

I am trying to do the right things for me, my R, and my kids, but it is dang hard right now to know just what those are.


H42 W40
M17 T23
S13 D14
BDAY-3/20/2010
DDAY-? HOPING TO AVOID