Mila....I get very upset with myself for letting the thought of OW get to me!!!!
GAG-thankyou so much for stopping by! I agree with OP on resurrecting your old thread. I would love to know your sitch especially now that I see you are D'd which is where I am headed. I will take a look at the link you posted!
SA...thankyou for reminding me of the "insignificance" of OW!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Hey all, I was a landscaper, house painter and construction worker in college, I hung out in garages and did plenty of work on cars, and I still have to go online to figure out how to do things. No worries, it doesn’t come naturally. Good on all of you for doing it, though.
As for the forced crying, it’s the same for me. I attribute it to me slamming my feelings down for so long that it’s now hard for me to let them out. When I cry, a few tears come out and I really have to try to keep them coming. I want to cry, but instantly my head says “suck it up.” If you also have been “strong” throughout the years, this is a good time to try to get back in touch with your sensitive side. It’s hard. My H fell in love with me partly b/c I was so sensitive, but then I had to learn not to be and now I have to relearn it. It’s strange, really.
At the risk of sounding like a mom here… careful everyone. I know it feels good to say negative things about OW and H, but the karma “bus” comes for us also. Negativity comes back around. They will reap what they sow without us wishing it on them. That’s a promise, it always happens. Forgiveness is so important because until you are able to forgive, you can’t move on. And if you don’t forgive, you become bitter.
Stay sweet!
And as for ow, remember, they are one letter away from cow… although, we do need them for milk, right? I remember someone used to call them the gnat. I liked that.
M&H..you are right...trying to replace the negative with the positives!!!
I think I am struggling with the thoughts of continuing to stand or moving on.
Financially, I may not be able to be in limbo for much longer...
Also, am kinda excited about the prospect of moving to a different place...getting the D overwith and starting over.
I know that I can still "stand" and proceed with the D but just have these confliciting thoughts about it. I don't want to be the one to push it through.
Not sure if any of this makes sense...having a hard time expressing how I am feeling/thinking so I guess the best thing to do is to not do anything until I can make sense of it myself!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Also, I have always been one to take short cuts, or the easy path and I feel like moving on is the easy path and it doesn't feel right to do that so that is also what I am struggling with!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I would fight the D at every turn, personally, through not participating and not being cooperative, but that's just me. In my state you can delay it up to 2 years if you fight it.
CW- I found this website today with tons and tons success stories of reconciliation after separation. It is very religious but I was just googling and was very inspired to see that so many people HAVE taken the LONG road and reunited with their H.
Although I am not going to buy the books, the message I got was to leave it up to God, be patient, don't file for D, and keep the faith. Here is the link if you are curious- the stories are very short paragraphs:
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I know that I can still "stand" and proceed with the D but just have these confliciting thoughts about it. I don't want to be the one to push it through
If you are conflicted, then it isn't the right time--or possibly even the right thing to do! I have read that it will sit right with you and you will feel READY if it is the time to do it. (kind of like when one is ready to go NC!)
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Good advice, newmama. I have the same rule for marriages as I do for big purchases. If I wouldn't buy a tv without giving myself a week to think it through, how much more would a M deserve?
