Can it be...a MLC??

[ericmsant2]

Still

Okay so now that I understand that your W has not filed, here is what I want to tell you. STOP. Yep...one word...STOP...

So what do I mean by this...
- STOP thinking about your M
- STOP thinking about what your W may be thinking
- STOP thinking about what she thinks or feels about something you do or dont do.
- STOP worrying about a D
- STOP trying to figure out if she is a MLC or WAS.

Just STOP.

Why? Cause buddy you need to rest and compose yourself. You need to spend some time in YOUR head NOT your wife's. That's right - YOUR head. You need to as you said...

I am really going to try and dig deep and find what it is I want post Dead M

Your sitch seems a little like mine. Your probably sh*ting bricks right now. Your probably analyzing every move she makes, every look that she gives you. Guess what? You can Analyze until you are blue in the face and some of it still will make not make sense. The time you spend focusing on her is time AWAY from your kids and the time you should be spending focusing on YOU.

for me is mostly fear

Ahh....yes the ugly moster of FEAR. I hate the F'er too. You see this fear that YOU have, will paralyze you if you do not face it. AND I mean really face it... It will keep you feeling defeated my friend. So guess what (sorry I'm gonna sugar coat this) - Man the F up and face it. Call it what it is - FEAR - Look it right in the eye and commit to facing it. Then realize that fear is only an emotion...one that WILL pass if YOU allow it! Notice the key if words...if YOU ALLOW IT. Do you realize that you control this sh*t?

because I cannot change it.

Good that you can say this...very good. Think about control and what it really means.

I am falling back into these attempts at bargaining

Not good! Now...reapeat after me...." I cannot change or control another - only myself". Say it one more time..okay...again...

I am so glad of this place and the people here

We like you too.

The toughest one though is that I want the kids to know that I did everything in my power to get their Mom to go to some kind of counselling and get some kind of help,.

They will understand this one day and you will not have to say a word. Actions my freind speak louder than words.IMO - keep the kids out of this.

but it was just too late

Oh...so your quiting already?

As you are trying to figure out what you want...make sure that you do not react or decide on something when you are angry, hurt, and fearful.

Take your time stil. Breath...

God Bless,
Eric