Yes, I sound like a whining weak idiot, but such is really not the case.
I neither implied you were or that you sound like one. Everbody knows these things are not easy. I am trying to nudge you in what I think is the right direction.
I could be wrong. Things didn't work out for me too well, but I am liking my returning optimism a lot more than the funk I was in for a while.
There is still a lot of stuff to love and appreciate in life, but it's hard to do that when this kind of thing is so much of your focus.
I will probably get served this week. I could be glum (and goodness knows I have had a lot of practice recently), but...it wasn't working for me.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Hi AC, just thought I'd check in before I go feed the pups. Hope your day has gone well... things are ok here. He's acting like everything's hunky-dorey (do people say that anymore or is it just me?). I'm not saying much of anything to him at all, trying to avoid him. I know, it's passive aggressive. I'm just at a loss for words with him. Don't want to talk about it and make him feel more cornered, but don't want to have to pretend I'm not hurting about it either. So I just kept my trap shut. But point is, I'm ok. No tears today! And I could think enough to get work done. Every time I started thinking how cranky/upset I was I remembered our deal, and distracted myself. How did your day go?
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
How about okey-dokey? Or groovy? (I'm such a nerd!) Anyways just got back to my desk; have an hour or so left to do this evening. Touch base if you can AC; wondering how your day went!
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
PG: Hey. I did my best. Kept remembering our deal, but spent too much time backsliding into the anguish of W focussing on EA with OM while I am gone. Kind of takes the point out of dropping the rope and NC when that is apparently what she wants. Unfortunate that I am walking around in the mountains thinking about this stuff. Need to detach. Need to accept the loss. Need to move on. Would love to keep working with you on our deal. No doubt I am feeling very alone and isolated, and need to get a grip. Don't really have a grip right now. Sorry. I did my best. And will keep trying tomorrow, if you are still with me.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
OK, I failed PG totally today. I am obsessed by the fact that W has apparently renewed her EA with OM while I am gone and attempting to drop the rope and go NC. Kind of useless to drop the rope when she does not care in the least.
I see three possibilities here:
1. She dumps me, and ends up with OM 2. She dumps me, realizes the OM is poison (her former boss in ous small organization) and stays in her depression 3. She dumps me, realizes down the road she made a mistake, and trys to reconcile
Note the commonalities. The chances of 3 are about a snowballs chance in hell, so why should I even try? At present, I am contemplating insisting on a D with immmediate financial separation the day I return late next week. I will also ask her to move out of the house that she just returned to when I left. This would be an abrupt change, to be sure. And it would be totally abandoning a deeply depressed woman I have been devoted to for 20 years. That is not the kind of guy I am. I am confused, and must be a moron.
Sorry PG. Really am.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
Oh AC, I'm so sorry. My heart just goes out to you and I'll be thinking about you. You have nothing to apologize for. We're all here for you. I know you're confused and you're not in any way a moron. Oh we need some help here from some of the guys who've been through this! Hey you guys!! AC needs help!!!
Last edited by prairiegirl; 06/02/1003:29 AM.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
AC, if you're still there, maybe you could start a new thread updating what's going on... post that last post of yours maybe that could catch one of the vets? Hang in there AC.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
How about okey-dokey? Or groovy? (I'm such a nerd!) Anyways just got back to my desk; have an hour or so left to do this evening. Touch base if you can AC; wondering how your day went!
