V1olin's new life without wife

[dday101798]

Hi v1olin,

I haven't gone all the way back through the thread, but here's what I gather from what I've read of the last weeks worth of posts:

When your D2 had her accident on you and it didn't phase you NOW as it did previously when your older D did so, shows serious change. It shows that you no longer sweat the little stuff, nor take a moment of being a parent for granted, something that can easily happen when we fall into our daily ruts.

I have said time and time again, and started many arguements, but now have new ammunition DIRECTLY from my (x)W to stand my ground after going through all her and I have: NO mother wants to take their child away from their father, at least from a father who realizes as I just said, they weren't the best parent they could be for some time, too wrapped up in themselves and their own problems.

According to my (x)W, in her words, everything she did, OM, things she did with OM, things said in court during the divorce, were all in her "best efforts to stab" (me). And I fought and fought, at that time not knowing, and I'd stab back, until the day came that my kids begged for no more, and I put the knife down and let (x)W just jab me in the chest. From that point on, I cherrished every moment I had with my boys, and she saw that.

Kind of stinks as in writing all this, I've kind of fallen into some of a rut again while letting the boys have their space as the whole reconcilliation thing IS taxing on them as well. Gonna have to work on that.

ok, I rambled off.

Anyway, I think your stbx is showing signs of remorse. I didn't have much the luxury you have in such interactions so I'm not overly sure how to interpret them. I can say, that when my (x)W was 'warm' for teh few times she was, she was much the same in her comments and demeaner, however the flux of OM kind of distorts that a bit.

I will also say that I would not fret the papework one bit. Does she already know it's all drawn up?

I see from your sig line that SHE filed. Let HER be the one to bring it up.

I held out, all the way up until the moment after everything was signed off on and we were standing in front of the judge (who gets the FINAL say) for (x)W to answer "no" to that infamous question about the state of the marriage. But, she didn't. She stood there emotionaless and cold and declared "yes, the marriage is broken and can not be reconcilled". And.....she was right. Our relationship today, IS NOT about that marriage. That marriage WAS broken. We are still working out problems that pertain to what happened after she left, but concider them to not be part of the broken marriage, and not really part of our current relationship either, kind of a in limbo, but not to be forgotten. BUT, the age old issues, are laid to rest once and for all.

Again, let her come to you about it.