Re-Connecting

[Fightingforher]

I took everyones advice and had a talk with my W lastnight. We sat on the couch and had a long discussion. We laughed and we cried but I told her that I can't work on this marriage if there is OM. She insisted that there is nobody else and she was ready for a D but wants to work on things for us and our son.

She got very emotional about even thinking about having another relationship if we were to D. She offered to cancel her FB page and stop using the computer if that would re-assure me that there was no one. I told her I don't want to live like that, I just don't think it would be fair to work on soemthing if your working on something else.

I've taken some measures and I'm looking into if there is OM, I hope it doesn't consume me.

She explained that the past 2 years of us fighting and the hurtful things that were said has completley wiped out her self esteem, confidence and she feels lost. She has noticed the change in me and is upset that I waited this long to make the changes. I told her that she can make the same changes, she just needs to work on it.

She said she hasn't had anytime to work on herself. I let her know that I can help more with our son so she can have some alone time. She works p/t and is also home with our son all day so I see where some alone time is needed.

I told her that I'm happy she wants to work on the marriage but MC is a priority, she agreed to go. Our MC said that she would like to see us individually and as a couple time to time.

We went to bed and she asked me to hold her. It was nice to cuddle but I feel like I still need to keep my guard up so I don't fall back to square 1. I so want to trust her so I can move forward on working on the other issues.