2 weeks left to DB

[Piano]

Cancelled today's visit by txt. Stated the truth: that me and bub needed to rest. He was OK with it.

I realised how much tension his visit was causing in me. As I am a bit down and missing my old life, I think it's better to stay away from him today. And maybe it's good for him to miss her a bit.

[newmama]

I totally forgot how hard it was to GAL in the beginning because I was so used to being with WH. But it was only 5 years since I was single so easier to remember. It must be even harder for you, Piano! The longer you are with someone, the harder it is to remember being single!


The visits from him must also be tough because you have barely seen him in recent months...then suddenly you see him several times a week? Wow, it would be a shock.

[Piano]

Yeah, that's how it is NM. 15 years since I was single.. I was 20 ! I don't know what it is to have an adult life without him. I am sure I can figure one out, but I sure don't have an idea from before of what it is like.

And yes, I see him what seems like only a handful of times (maybe it was 15 or so times in 6 months?!) and now it's every two days or so. Plus he's enthusiastic. Plus he doesn't want to leave.

But it's about the baby, not me.

I am feeling much better about cancelling. A weight has been lifted and I can enjoy baby girl (who, btw, I haven't named yet! Holding off on surname too!)

[newmama]

It is amazing when your body lets you know that you did the right thing! Hey some argue that if listening to your body is wise, then our spouses wouldn't cheat....but their gut nags at them to remind them they are doing something wrong! (from what the former waywards say on the survivinginfidelity forum)

So you haven't named your baby girl yet? Is your mom bugging you about it? Although; I remember only calling S a bunch of nicknames for MONTHS like "baby boy" "little man" and my favorite: "squeaker!: It bothered my grandma like crazy! She would say "how is he supposed to learn his name?" lol!

I am pleased that your H is enthusiastic for your daughter instead of running away. I guess we can't say that for sure yet, though.

So are you 35? Did I figure right? I only ask because I wonder if all of us pregnant or recently pregnant are in our 30s...I was 33 when WH left.

[gatsby11]

It must be even harder for you, Piano! The longer you are with someone, the harder it is to remember being single!


The visits from him must also be tough because you have barely seen him in recent months...then suddenly you see him several times a week? Wow, it would be a shock.

Great point, NM. Didn't mean to blow off what you felt, P!

I'm glad you feel better not seeing him today.

She is 35, NM. I'm close. I'll be 30 in a couple of weeks.

[Piano]

G, I didn't think you were blowing off what I said. You have given me some ideas there, of how to get back on the living horse :-) I'm just in that feed, sleep, feed, sleep cycle with baby and while it's wonderfully cocooning, I'd rather WH came home at night, not my parents. Anyway, done with self pity.

Yep I am 35. I wish I was younger, gals! More time to meet someone else and have more delicious babies!!

Gave bub a bath today, and now giving her tummy time. Today's a bit of a can't-get-out-of-bed day. No sleep last night :-)

G, I was telling NM that I haven't given her a name yet. Don't worry, I have ideas, but we have 60 days to register here and lots of poeople take their time. I am also thinking of de-hyphenating the surnames, and having his as a middle name only.

Good to read on your thread you are all ready for the baby. Are you starting to feel more pressure in your lower belly? Are you nervous/excited about the birth? Want the pregnancy to be over ? I remember been sad that the pregnancy was soon to be over..end of an era. But whem they arrive it's pretty darn special.

[Jstar]

I was 39 with mine when h left, is there something to that???

enjoy that little girl,i wish i was younger as well to have more kidos but 3 great kids are awesome and these 2 young ones are gonna gang up on me in a few years.

if i get sad, doesn't happen much anymore, i look in my bed and see my almost 3 yr old and 3 month old son, sometimes i scoop them both up hug and kiss them, and feel happy and fulfilled.

just as you think you have a routine it will get changed up, try to relax and do what works for you and kidos.

[Piano]

Judging by the amount of weight my WH has lost, his body has been pulling at his guilt strings alright!

Sorry NM, I meant that WH has to drag himself out the door when he comes and visits the baby... clearly reluctant to leave her. However I think that has no bearing on his plans to leave the country at some stage! So, no, can't be sure what is happening on that front yet.

Have to admit, though I love and miss him, I often wish him gone. The anticpation/stress around his visits got to me yesterday and today.

[Piano]

if i get sad, doesn't happen much anymore, i look in my bed and see my almost 3 yr old and 3 month old son, sometimes i scoop them both up hug and kiss them, and feel happy and fulfilled.

You are right, the kids bring joy and purpose. I get mad at myself when WH consumes my mind and I realise I haven't been paying attention to bub who might be doing something really cute & i was distracted! You know, she is 8 days old today, and I already regret time moving so fast!!

[gatsby11]

Hey!

I think it's great that a lot of people take 60 days to name their kids. It makes sense. That doesn't happen much around here, I don't think. You'll be able to discern her personality much better. (And think about the last name stuff!)

No pressure yet. I am not nervous but am pretty excited. With all the WH stuff of the last few days, I took my focus off my pregnancy. So I'm trying to get it back. I am looking forward to not being pregnant. It's not awful, but I just like full range of motion!

"I often wish him gone"-- gotcha. Too much drama with these WHs!