Won't leave OW

[marie2235]

THANK YOU, Puppy. Awesome advice. Wish I knew that 6 months ago. I did more like #3, but with some #1 thrown in. I had pages and pages of HER posts on Facebook, talking about what they do together, places they went, etc. I also had a lot of info from his co workers and cards from her to him. BUT, nothing directly from him to her. He isn't as stupid as she is. Though, after having a nice weekend away together recently - we stopped at a rest area at 1 am and I heard him on the phone with her telling her he loved her. Immediate confrontation. Immediate denial. and I HEARD it with my own two ears. He said I made it up in my imagination, after he tried to say he was listening to his voice mail.

So, I don't know if its too late for #1 - sounds like I have kind of done that. I do know I am sick of this and can't take much more of it. Not to mention I am still in partial denial. I wonder how much of it is an EA affair, maybe not with the rest of it. Everyone tells me, no way.

newmamma - I never thought of it as an addiction - but, you are right- he is addicted to whatever 'fun' he gets out of being with a kid half his age. I tried to get him to do the things we used to do together when we first met and the things we were doing when we fell in love, but he wants no part of it. Doesn't want to go out or do anything with me.Basically, I can't figure out a way to get him to want to be with me and not with her.

Puppy, thank you very much - you have fantastic insight that makes me think and see things differently. I have to think a lot more carefully before I do or say anything. I wish I did have something he cant deny - I don't know what that would be, other than pictures. My kids and I have even seen them together in his car - twice and he said, I was just giving her a ride to town. He has an excuse for everything. I guess it will have to come down to stop or get out. I know there is no furure with her - she has no job, no car, lives with her grandfather, wants to 'grow up and get married and have kids someday', where he is done with all that. I wish he could see it that way.

I know I am being really stupid. I just keep thinking, I have been with this man for almost 20 years - that man he used to be has got to be there somewhere. Though, he is a selfish jerk. I had to go see a surgeon recently, because I have to have surgery and he was complaning that i aksed him to go with me, becuase it messed up his work day. I must have really poor self esteem to let someone treat me like this. My head knows it - I am not stupid. I even aggrevate myself.

Sorry for rambling on. Thank you again.