Better Days

[ImprovedRomeo]

A lot of what you said is also true for me. This one especially:

And then I have the urge to call up XW and say, please, just come home.

Oh how I've felt the frustration over this very argument. Having to go on into a routine life alone day after day feels like a waste of prime weeks/months/years where we could've been doing fun and productive things as a family. The feeling that man, this is not good for me, not good for the kid(s), life was so much better with her here when we were together as a family. How can she just walk away from it all? When will she snap out of it and call me and say she's sorry and that she wants to come back? And this is where I feel the peak of my desperation where part of me wants to speak up and say "she ain't coming back" yet the other part of me wants to keep that hope alive.

I too wonder sometimes how as a grown man I'm sitting here crying over a woman that's kicked me to the curb after everything I did for her (yes I wasn't perfect but I never would've give up on us like she did). I should be furious at her for ruining my family because of her selfishness. Sometimes I wonder if I was born 300 years ago and going through this what would things look like? I bet I would've been much tougher than I am today. I wonder how unlike what most people say marriages aren't like g/f and b/f relationships for people like us. We think marriages are forever and that's ultimately why we feel betrayed, blindsided and hurt. It's our expectation of it, for many WAS marriages are like other relationships where they continue to jump in and out of when it suits them. I'm coming to the realization that someone like the WAS who can just walk away from their family and their kids (even part-time) care enough about anyone else? If they don't even care about how their kids are affected or how they won't see their kids half the time what can you possibly expect from someone like that? It's useless to even want someone like that back, they've got issues and you can't fix them.