Whatever she does, keep in mind your goal - having her come back to you 100%. When she does head in that direction (not when she has arrived), you can begin dealing with your issues in small steps.
Forgive. She's giving the plural "you" a chance. If the MC becomes an attack on you, sit back at let it fly from her, but keep that goal in mind. Respond with questions to the MC instead of comments at your wife.
My wife never bonded with our MC because she was in her self-defense shell the whole time. If the environement feels toxic, she'll never be willing to address issues like the superintedant.
