I hope your are okay. I want you to know that I am thinking about you and praying for God to give you the strength and peace.
I read your thread and it really touched me.
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I recognize that I definitely have some co-dependency issues...after 36 years together it's probably normal
IMO it is normal especially given the length of your R. Having said this, I think you may want to explore this side of you a little more to better understand the true reason as to why you were CD. Another issue may be "backround" withdrawal. I read where often one of the issue the LBS goes thru is the withdrawa of the spouse from the background. You are used to seeing H around and not that he is not you may be going thur this type of withdrawal.This is very normal. I too am going thru this.
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It's very hard for me to let go probably because I still can't believe inside that he could switch like that and I'm fighting it....so my inability to detach is also about acceptance....I haven't fully accepted it.
OMGH - I sooooo now how you feel. Maybe I have accepted mine but the pain is still there. Mila you will accept this when you are ready to. We can all tell you to detach but doing it is soo hard. The one thing I guess I can tell you is that if you do not get to a point of detachment and acceptance that you will never heal. WHen I say acceptance I do not mean give up. I mean to accept that your H will make his own choices. He will do what he feels is right. THe acceptance I speak of is an acknowledgement that nothing youi do can change it. Nothing. You cannot control him or his feelings so you must and I stress really focus on yourself.
Mila - he may seem happy but really we don"t know. I know that my W seem happy. They feel the in love feelig that comes with an A. Can this last? Probably not. Will he regret this? Yes> What will you do with this time? HEAL.
Mila you have been through a lot. YOu have tolerated more than anyone I know. Now...it is your time. It is your time to let him and OM fall on there face.
Mila _ I need to see your strength!
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
