Hey Bobbi, thats great progress, its funny how an IC really can help you with what sounds so simple, but you just need someone else to point it out to you hey.
So Dan sent you 6 nice texts and called in one day?? Wow. Well done for making him handle the coach!
You do sound like you are in a good place, which is amazing after all you've had to deal with. xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Good for you BBJ. It is so true that we teach people how to treat us. Something I'm still learning too. It is amazing that is something we don't learn from birth isn't it?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Hey Bobbi, thats great progress, its funny how an IC really can help you with what sounds so simple, but you just need someone else to point it out to you hey.
So Dan sent you 6 nice texts and called in one day?? Wow. Well done for making him handle the coach!
You do sound like you are in a good place, which is amazing after all you've had to deal with. xxx
Yes, my IC is great. She keeps reminding me how well I am doing when I don't see it! From the stories I have told about my mom, Dan, and MIL she basically thinks I am surrounded by 'crazymakers' and is amazed I don't get pulled into their drama more as it is hard not to sometimes.
In fact while explaining the family picnic issue to her I was mentioning how my mom used to take my sisters and I (and my grandma and aunt) to visit my uncle in prison, but she lied and told us we were visiting him at his marine base. (He had been a marine, got charged w/rape, courtmartialed and put in prison!) Anyway it was an example of how my mom lies, but as I was telling it I realized just how screwed up it sounded and yet here I am, mostly healthy and intact! I never knew till after he was 'discharged' (released from prison)...I saw the buildings, the men in uniform (guards), all the guys dressed like my uncle (hello prison uniforms!), the tall fences, thought it was part of being on base...anyway said uncle comes to all these parties and I don't like my kids being around him.
As for Dan, yeah seven texts and a phone call. Started out w/him in the a.m. texting to ask if Sydney ate breakfast at preschool. I replied, and asked if they were all healthy (somehow kids have gotten neither the flu nor the bronchitis, whew!)...then he replied back about how Nathan was getting too big to want kisses from dad when he drops him off at school. That turned into a short "Sunrise, Sunset" convo about the kids growing up. [however Nathan still hugs me and sometimes kisses me at school ] Once I got to school I saw Sydney dressed in an adorable new outfit. I sent him a message telling him she looked cute and he replied back that he wasn't sure it if was too big and sent a backup outfit. Anyway later last night he called to tell me kids were at his mom and dad's, he was on his way to cattle friend Doug's bc a cow was out. I empathized and then he texted me as I was heading to bed that he got the cow contained and was headed back...
I am enjoying the peace while it lasts, he is due to pay me the settlement next month and that may not go well...
Pitiful, but after two straight, full days of work, I am exhausted! Coughing more as the afternoon goes on. Think I will have a nap and then pull myself together for the evening. A lot of things I want to accomplish between now and Sunday morning.
The plan after that is a pretty good lock. I am teaching children's church in the morning at an outside service. Then meeting up with my sister for 9 holes of golf...our local course is small! After that, my kids and hers will play together and the cousins are spending the night--yay! My sis probably will too as I have wi-fi and my parents, not so much as a home computer.
Tomorrow I may go price some grills. The kids decided they want to get their dad one for father's day. I am good with that as I am keeping our current grill. Besides he dropped a load on me for the fountain so I feel ok getting him something 'big'.
Really want to get my house organized. Lost my keys twice in two days, can't find my driver's license. I had put it in a jacket, along with my debit card, to go shopping last week. I remember getting them out, think I put them in my pant pocket to take to work with me as I usually leave my wallet in the car and wanted to put them back...did I mention I just got a replacement license 6 weeks ago, and promptly found the original I had lost??
Don't get me wrong my house is nothing like hoarders!! I just have a few things I use every day (keys, debit card, license, etc) but I don't have a designated 'place' for them like I should. That and my mail tends to pile up. I have a stack of "Explanation of Benefit" papers from insurance I want to file, the statments from my utility co. and others that I auto-draft, but still get a statement. These things aren't "Hurry! You owe money!" mail so they tend to linger on countertops.
Want to put a stop to that and get all organized over the summer...a place for everything and everything in its place...I already organized a lot of that with my color-coded binders with labels written in matching sharpie marker...just have to actually PUT the papers INTO the binders... Anyway by the time school starts again in August I want to have my house in order, literally, so I spend less time finding things/ sorting things and more time DOING things.
/really I am not a walking mess! //i think i scared you all off with my prison ramblings earlier, didn't I? ///my extended family is just a clustermess...my crazy is sane in comparison!
Duct tape was not needed...I went to bed at 6:15 last night to take a 30 minute nap and woke up at 2 a.m.! At that point had horrible headache, dry eyes from sleeping in contacts, sore throat and cough! Ugh. So I took some meds and went back to bed, woke up at 8. Seriously...14 hours in bed!!!
Mind, I know we need to catch up!! Will have to find some time to chat soon...
I am doing....ok. A bit of a cough still but not bad. Had to work "kindergarten day at the park" today...long day outdoors (their equivalent of track/field day) but fun.
Spent the past 2 hours in the house in the basement with tornado warnings. Still lots of thunder but not too bad. North of Omaha got much worse...
The weekend was pretty good. My sister was in from Des Moines with her kids and stayed at my house Sunday night.
Dan had kids during the weekend. Brought them back Sunday noon and stayed for lunch. I grilled burgers, made sweet corn, and grilled new/red potatoes w/cheese. All good! Kids liked having 'family time'.
Then he left and kids and I went out to my mom's. Kids played there while sis and I went golfing. Mom tried to do the guilt trip thing and asked my we didn't invite oldest sister along, but we both know older sister hates golf and she said as much--yes, mom said it in front of her. Sighhhhhh.
While golfing sis was b!tching about her H. They have had a really rough several (4 or 5) years. She is super stubborn and headstrong and he comes across as laid-back to the point of lazy. I can see where they are both wrong on a lot of occasions but no one can fix someone else's relationship!
Anyway of course we talked about the Dan situation too...she said between the fountain for Mother's day, the basement carpet for Christmas, and the big tree for my birthday he has gotten me better gifts this past year than her H ever did...I joked that he has gotten me better presents since he left than when he was with me, things specific to what I like, what is important to me. Which is almost true but he always was a pretty good gift buyer. Anyway she said mom told her he spends time with me and kids 'all the time' and she(mom) wants me to 'just move on with my life'. Whatever that means, looks like to her...
Anyway sis said she thinks Dan is still 'conflicted' inside or he wouldn't spend so much time with kids and me, since he gets almost 50% custody as it is. I really don't know anymore...then at 11:00 Sunday night my phone beeps and it was a text from Dan. Just wanted me to know he found a good horse for Sydney once she is old enough for one. My sis just laughed and rolled her eyes and said, "yeah, he really needed to contact you at 11 at night for that"...
I don't know. Maybe he is conflicted. And maybe my mom has a point that I should be 'moving forward'.
But right now my focus is on organizing my house, playing with/loving my kids, and working on a good financial plan for the future. Everything else is secondary.
I never knew till after he was 'discharged' (released from prison)...I saw the buildings, the men in uniform (guards), all the guys dressed like my uncle (hello prison uniforms!), the tall fences, thought it was part of being on base...anyway said uncle comes to all these parties and I don't like my kids being around him.
] Once I got to school I saw Sydney dressed in an adorable new outfit. I sent him a message telling him she looked cute and he replied back that he wasn't sure it if was too big and sent a backup outfit. Anyway later last night he called to tell me kids were at his mom and dad's, he was on his way to cattle friend Doug's bc a cow was out. I empathized and then he texted me as I was heading to bed that he got the cow contained and was headed back...
Coughing more as the afternoon goes on. Think I will have a nap and then pull myself together for the evening. A lot of things I want to accomplish between now and Sunday morning.
Anyway by the time school starts again in August I want to have my house in order, literally, so I spend less time finding things/ sorting things and more time DOING things.