Hey, we're on at the same time! I'm going to bed very soon, though. I didn't get enough sleep last night.
Anyway, I do want WH to feel confident with his baby-care self. I think that's a huge part of his adjustment disorder-- he has no confidence that he can do a good job. I'll try to help that part. Again, I'm not doing it for him to get back with me. I really want (need?) for him to be a decent-at-least-halfway-there father. So if I can help, I want to try. Even if it means stepping back!
Not to get into a whole thing, but I mentioned before once in passing that my mom has Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissism. Fun stuff. She doesn't know she has it because, in my opinion, the family therapist is too chicken to tell her. (And if she's somehow reading this, she should be ashamed. She's a big SNOOP.)
Anyway, children of these parents can try to take care of everything because they don't want to upset the fragile parent. They also tend to push their needs down because so often their needs were ignored or ridiculed.
It's ironic that the very thing I hated (how controlling she was) can pop out in me with the opposite motivation-- to take care of problems on my own. Once here when Pearlharbr said I was controlling about something, I really was taken aback! Me? I don't want to control anyone; in fact, they can sit down and I'll take care of it! (Funny that I didn't see that was just a different form of control.)
This is way too much psychobabble. As I continue to deconstruct, I contradict myself and get confused. So I should bring it up at my next therapy session!
Bottom line, ask WH for help with the baby. And be open to his ideas about her care. When I can be.
