V1olin's new life without wife

[ClingingToHope]

Here is another side note... last weeek in a moment of

weekness on my part I ended up talking to her on the phone aboout work(mine and hers) for about 2 hours. The next morning I sent her this text, "Wife, I hope you are feeling better today. I had a nice time talking to you last night. I miss you."

She DID respond with this,

"I am glad that we can still talk to each other."

Do you see what's missing from her response? She did not say 'I miss you too.'

That to me is not a sign of her wavering on the D. To me, that's a sign of her thinking you've given up and will accept just being friends.

It's tough. I went through the DB counseling. Dottie was really, really good and she had me pretty fired up for a while thinking that every interaction with STBXW was a chance for me to shine and rebuild the relationship.

But that also allows cake eating.

I was 'all in' in poker terms. I have enough friends. I wanted STBXW to be THE FRIEND. The one I could always trust, who would always have my back.

She's not so I'm not going to call and talk about my day or ask about her job or her family.

Now, if she calls me and needs someone to lean on -- I'll take it on a case by case basis. I can't say for sure what I'd do -- it depends on my mood. I might say something like 'we're not married anymore. These are problems I tried to help you with for 13 years. When you divorced me that to me meant you no longer wanted my help.'

Or if I'm in a sentimental mood I might listen. But she gets nothing of my life anymore. I thought about this a lot. If I was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I'd tell my daughters and family but not her.