I'm for you going home, as well. Stay in the spare bedroom. If you're paying for the home, you have every legal right to be there, and the KIDS deserve to have you there, no matter who is the better parent. If she fails to see that, then she certainly is no better than you.
I'd like to reiterate my previous post, as well, and suggest you rule out other possibilities besides "laziness" and "irresponsibility." You seem like a thoughtful person, and thoughtful people are not, generally, intentionally those things.
