I'm just scared all the time.

[TimeHeals]

I'm hoping and praying that she will feel it's worth it. That she will want me to come back.

Because you ran away? I don't know. Doesn't seem like much of a plan to me.

It was making her miserable for me to stay. I couldn't stand seeing her that way

Sounds like that was mutual. I am sure you are leaving out way too many details, so I will just repeat, "so your plan was to run away?".

I WANT to go home. I WANT to be with my kids

This you can fix by going home for now.

I WANT my family back

Unless you do something really stupid, you aren't going to lose your family. Your wife, on the other hand, has checked out for now. You can't lose her if she is already gone, so what are you afraid of?

I don't think "I don't want a divorce, so I am going to make it as easy as possible for my wife to decide to get one" is going to work. I could be wrong.

Has moving out worked?