I'm just scared all the time.

[MrBond]

So let's see...

You pay for the household expenses.

You help out in the house.

She wants you to be involved with the kids.

BUT...she doesn't want to love you and doesn't want you around.

What's wrong with this picture?

It's all about HER. First thing you need to do is man-up and get your affairs in order. You have a right to be home. If she feels uncomfortable, then she needs to leave. If she does, then she has to pay for her own living expenses.

Start commanding respect from her.