I'm just scared all the time.

[Royloveshiswife]

In Sept. of 09, my wife of 10 years asked me to leave for a few days while she thought our marriage over. I Begged her to let me stay so WE could work on it. She relented and let me stay. I thought we were making progress, then on Oct. 18 she took off her ring and said she wanted a divorce. I left for the night. The next day I asked to meet for coffee and she agreed. We talked for about an hour. At the end of the conversation, she agreed to work on it with me. On March 11 she told me she wanted me out still. she couldn't take having me in the same house with her. I left (again) and have been gone off and on since then. I don't get invited home, I get invited to stay the night in one of the spare beds and see our children (we have 3). I have been unemployed since last July (layed off after 10 years due to impending closure) so I've had to stay at my parents home. I don't know how to give up on anything, much less my marriage. As far as I know she still hasn't filed yet, but in a way thats worse because I wake up every day wondering if today is the day.
There is no one else for either of us, no affairs ever. We have 2 boys and a little girl and we both adore them all. They are staying with her in our home because I won't take my children from their mother. She is a fantastic mother and was a great wife. I have ordered one of the books and waiting on its arrival. I've never been scared before this. I just need to know there is hope out there.