I don't think you need to expose to OM's wife now (so long as she abides by no-contact), but I do think your wife needs to send this man a no-contact letter, and the two of you need to set up a good transparency plan.
Was this discussed? Without it, even if her INTENTIONS are sincere, she may be unable to overcome the addiction of OM, and the recidivism rate of these things is VERY high if he keeps pursuing her.
