Well, I guess I'm still "still out here." I haven't been back in awhile, and today I got an email notification from an old thread I had subscribed. That teaching job I mentioned last time ended today, and I have a pretty good shot at being brought back for summer school and then a permanent position for next year, so I'm happy about that.
My marriage has taken off since I wrote last. My wife started losing weight, which made her feel good, and began taking regular "girls' nights" about once a week, usually on a Saturday night. I rearranged my on-call time so I could stay home with the kids on those nights, and she would go out and dance with her friends and drink a little and just forget about being the responsible one for awhile. She started smoking again, which doesn't overjoy me, but I just make it clear that I don't approve and then leave it alone. She'll quit when she's ready.
Anyway, a routine to these nights out developed; she would go out for girls' night, I would have a fun night with the kids and go to bed, and sometime in the wee hours she would come home, take a shower, and come slip into bed naked and wake me up for my "girls' night." As you can imagine, this makes your husband eager to watch the kids and let you have your girls' night out.
And then, somehow, it all came together for her and she started to act like what we would call "HD" here. She stops me in the house to give me long, deep kisses. She initiates sex. She tells me what she wants, and she listens when I talk to her. She rarely says no to sex anymore, and it doesn't seem like she's doing it for me. She takes a real joy in making love now, and we've both gotten a lot better at it somehow. Practice making perfect, maybe.
It takes me back to Dancing Queen's thread where she talked about a woman needing so many things in her life to be positive before she could really be in a position to have a high sex drive. I know my wife gets more depressed more easily during the winter. I know her job was squashing her. I know the kids were unbearable (we're doing some things differently there, too.) I know she hated being overweight. I know she felt overwhelmed by all those things at once. Now, maybe not.
I even went dancing with her again, and we had a great time. We can't do that as often as her girl nights because we need babysitters to do it, but we'll do it again. I gave up trying to do anything right and just moved as much as I could as close to rhythmically as I could. It doesn't really matter what I do, anyway. I'm just there to watch her dance if the truth is told. She really is beautiful.
