We spent the whole long weekend together and there were no crises, no discussions about R, no grumpiness. We are so good at being nice to each other, we make very good partners. I feel like I just spent a great weekend with my brother! Well, my brother does hug me when he sees me.
I know, it's obnoxious of me to complain about this. One of my "signs" that things were looking up was that H would choose to spend more time with us at home. He is spending much more time with us, and it has been fun. I just miss our romantic and physical relationship so much. I was awake for 2 hours last night in bed next to this man, arguing with myself about whether or not to reach out to him. The fear of rejection and chasing him away finally won out.
We looked ahead at the calendar together and noticed that our anniversary falls on Father's Day this year. How convenient is that?!!? We'll essentially skip our anniversary to allow the kids to shower H will love. Any other year and I would have just planned something romantic for us another day. Now I am more tempted to just let it ride and see if H plans anything. I see this milestone much differently this year, not so much as the birthday of our family, but as a "whew, we made it another year" kinda thing. I am proud for us to make it through this year, proud of H for not jumping ship when he felt so bad and proud of myself for not freaking out to the point of completely driving him away (thanks DB).
