WAW EA told her to leave

[DangerDave]

Hey everyone - well it Tuesday morning and I had a pretty significant weekend with my WAW - actually I think all the advice and strategies are working pretty well - it's just all about patience and more patience!

After the huge blowup Friday, Greek on the NC board made a suggestion regarding our family outing on Sunday- " I'm taking my family, that includes you if and only if you are not having any type of affair with him - end it now". Well I sent it to her via tm as that's here preferred way to communicate these days and got a message back that she wanted to talk again that night. We hadn't seen each other all day as I was gone when she left for a all day bike ride - no problem.

So when she did get home she wanted to know where I had been - just out was the reply, and I'm tired I'm going to bed. She followed right up, when we got to bed I asked her if she was going in the morning with us and she said yes, I then asked if she got my tm as well - yes and fine she said she would end all contact with OM - tm, phone, gym, facebook, bike rides and any other contact period. She said fine, but it would not change her mind about anything by not talking with him, but I held fast with the Allen A mantra and left no quarter. She also brought up my FB list and threw out there that how did she know that I wasn't doing the same with my "friends" as well, I asked her why would she care and got a troubled "I don't know" - another plus! Her real fear may be that the kids will find out and paint her as the bad guy I think - but it's still a step in the right direction. First thing in the morning she told me without asking her that he was off her lists- so step one!

The family outing went very well, we all got along great, showed some more 180's and had a very good day especially with everything going on. Monday came along and we both got a bit of a shocker from our oldest S22, he called her and wanted to know what was going on between us, that we were getting divorced and she was leaving the home. Well turns out that we had both shared our situation with some very close friends - here with the wife and me with the husband - which then got to their daughter and she told our oldest D19 who called our S22. Well obviously not the way we wanted to discuss the situation with them, but we both talked to them together and she did say that we didn't know what was going to happen and we were in limbo and that nothing was going to happen at least through the end of summer with everyone home. So at least 3 months of busting my butt on my 180's and lifestyle changes - another positive imo. She also went on to say to me that she was still in the "same place" but maybe she needed to talk to another therapist that wasn't so closed minded, someone with other ideas and options (something like that). I brought up joint counseling and did not push - just a seed of thought, I've found that is solution based from the list posted on the boards here.

This morning we were talking quite nicely together and she did bring up that she would need someone new to ride with (OM was riding with her) and I did not push the comment just listened to the new names that were all couples, another plus.

As far as exposure to the OMW - well I think I am going to see how this plays out for a bit - wait and see how long the phone block discovery takes if at all and take from there- my personal therapist has made a good point I think in that exposure could be a significant setback as she would probably see me as hurting a friend and elevate resentment even further - so it's a wait a see approach from here - she blows up on the block and that's my cue to take it to the next level. I told her I trust her - as she doesn't trust me in the least as to my 180's being real - so a bit of in your face - let's see how she does......

All for now and thanks all!

DangerDave