Playing your former wife's game of intruding on the morning routine only hurts you. It's a test of wills between the two of you that probably confuses the kids.. and might make you look a little like a stalker. If you truly want to see your children when she has them, why not just wait at where they're being dropped off? Or why do it at all?
And about the change in daycare expenses.. Instead why not ask for a modification in child support based on the change in salary for the former spouse? Your lawyer knows how things work and can best advise you. If she wants to formally change childcare expenses, it's her choice to go forward, not yours. And it can open a whole can of worms for her if she does. Especially if she's planning on moving.
Their mom continually interferes with your morning routine which is disruptive, invasive and disrespectful. It would wig me out, too. Since she knows your time schedule, suggest that saying goodbye to the kids in the morning at school works better for all. Then you can take them for breakfast, get donuts, go to the store for something then get them to school. Break her routine.
And you're in a tough position with the PC since most states feel it's better for children to be with their mother as long as she isn't a cracking smoking lesbian prostitute. Or at least that's the standard in Connecticut. Promptly enrolling your son in the child counseling center would be good, providing a safe established environment for him to feel safe, share developing a rapport with his counselor for this summer and the upcoming school year
Anyway.. these are imperfect suggestions and perceptions that may or may not benefit you. In the end it comes down to what works for you, your children. What's best for them. And if something makes you really mad, try and identify what it is that is causing that gut reaction. Reactions that are disproportionate to the event usually are triggers for something completely different.
