whatdidido has changed to whatamigoingtodo

[whatamigoingtodo]

Thanks, Kat. I haven't had a chance to check on you yet. Pretty overwhelmed lately.

Ok, Allen...Ok. I'll try to do what you are saying. Problem is, if these things are not natural, then it just screams to me that we are not natural....making me feel even more than our marriage is fake.

You didn't touch the sex issue.....this is of HIGH importance...I don't have feelings for him that way at all anymore. Pretty significant point.

1. Find one interest that makes you happy and do it at least once a week. Share your thoughts and feelings about this interest with me.

2. Find some guy friends that you have fun with, and do something with one or more of them at least once a week. Share your "good times" and thoughts after spending time with them, with me.

3. Tell me good thoughts and bad thoughts as you have them.

4. Tell me when you are angry and why.

5. Be upbeat and make plans on your own of what you want to do.




I didn't write down to buy me roses. He knew he should, and chose not to. He even told me that. Passive agressive. How was he feeling when I told him? Actually we were laughing because we had just gotten back together talking about the changes we need to make and we were in good moods. He doesn't like getting flowers because he is cheap and he likes giving them when they aren't expected....problem is...he never gives them when they aren't expected.....ever. I waited years and years and years for it to happen...never did. How was he feeling on Valentine's Day? Just like the past. We were how we were in the past....no connection, routine, .....

Flowers thing...yeah, could have been a set up...but for me, was more of an eye opener.

I see what you are saying about not giving him something specific to do...guys like those lists of do this and do that......and I will try to do that. But, do you see what I'm saying....that all our years I've been the one telling him what I need and want and what to do and practically what to think....and I'm tired. I want an adult, a partner, a husband.....and I can't make him that way. He can do x, y, and z, but if it is not him really wanting to do it and really being that way...then it is just more of the fake marriage I've had all my life.