still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

Thanks WN-

Let him know that regardless of the circumstances you are choosing to find and create joy in your life.

This is the goal for myself! I do want WH to see it.

But I don't mean to come across as if I am WORRYING about how to act anymore. I am acting as I wish but having hope that it will make an impression. Sure, I wore the dress when I wasn't really going anywhere, but that doesn't hurt anything! I do want to show that I have things to do and people to see.

Now I feel like if I don't feel like being happy, I don't have to. I want to compose myself so that I don't break down in front of him, though.

He knows I don't want the divorce; I told him. But he will be forced to see that I am letting go. Do I still care? Of course! I don't fall in love with just anyone, unlike him it seems! So on here I express that I care what he thinks. But with him I am trying not to show it. Hoping that "acting as if" will help me detach. Does that make sense? Detaching from him is incredibly hard...expecially because I am reminded of him every time I look at my son and I see him all the time.