"i am afraid of having the wrong game plan. it's like you have one chance at this."
You will find that this is likely not true. You do need a plan. I have seen people do all sorts of things and it not change things either way. Your chances are equal either way you look at it. Your chances don't change at all if you never try. It is a fine line. Like everything else we do in life.
"forrest, you know how some people say that men want what they can't have? the only way that h will know that he can't have me is if i am with someone new. because he knows that i'm not the type to date. i really don't want to date others. but i can't help but think .. would that wake him up?"
It is a option. It has worked. If you can go into the dating with the understanding that it goes no further than male company.. then I am OK with it. If you are going to have fun and not looking to cover up your hurt.. or build a lasting R with someone. Again.. it's OK. I don't recommend it.. for you.. simply based on your frame of mind. You are doing things for the wrong reason's. Your actions.. whatever they are.. need to not have "I am doing this to get you back" in them anywhere. This is what they are looking for.. and what they will run from.
So to sum up dating.. it is OK.
For you right now.. I recommend you stay away from it.
I don't agree that men want what they can't have. It is the "illusion" that is attractive. How many times have you heard the story of a man chasing a woman.. then dropping her as soon as he had her? It's the "illusion" that creates the emotion.. I gotta have her. I always knew that I would marry my wife. Never did I expect it to be under the conditions that it happened in. Never at anytime did I think I could not "have" her.
"btw, i'm actually afraid of dating. you told me in an previous post that i should not put myself in a situation with another man. i am really naive and i am afraid that i would unwittingly put myself in a dangerous situation. could i make my h realize that he can't have me without being with someone else? or is this a bad game plan?"
Again.. see above on dating. From an outside perspective.. I think most of your actions have shown him that he can't have you. Hence the quick departure on his part. DB.. tells us.. stop what does not work. Do what does work. You figure this out by testing. Even the LRT has a window of "chance" where you test it.
"i want my BFF back. i want to be able to laugh with him."
Lets start here.. How would you do this if it was your BFF.. and he was not your H?
"coach was db-ing me in the post."
yes.. yes he was.
"what kind of emotion did you get from coach's question post? i looked at it from a pure "technical" standpoint. it was like an interview and i just use my brain and not my heart to answer. no heart involved = no emotion for me."
Frustration.. not getting anywhere. The posts were just getting more and more vindictive. It was becoming an exercise in futility. Coach was creative with his thinking.
"i could have ignored it and continued to rant. but for my own mental well-being, i had to try."
So.. you had a choice? What do you think would have happened if you chose not to answer the questions? Did it matter to Coach whether you answered the questions or not?
This is what I say when you need to be creative.. and make statements. Its clearly not what you say.. but how you say it.
"my next anxiety attack will come when we have to sit down with the mediator and hammer out the remainder of our agreement. what happens in that room will make or break me."
Ya think? So how do you prepare for that? What should you be doing? I thought you said you have no idea when you will "see" him. Seems to me they are gonna put it on a calendar and give you a date and time. L are nice like that ya know.
"with h it is different because the heart is involved. if i remove the heart and he becomes just an ordinary joe, then that would mean i have no feelings for him."
My heart is not involved in this posting. I have nothing to loose.. and nothing to gain. I am just an ordinary joe. Do you think I have no feelings for you? Do you think I don't care?
"i don't know what i am anymore."
Fix this..
"i no longer have that effect on him."
This will come with you fixing above.
"oh boy. this i really need. i average around 5 hrs a night. not good for me."
So.. once again.. you know what to do.. but refuse to do it. Are you gonna tell me you are afraid of the dark or something? The weight loss(not eating).. the not sleeping.. you don't understand the effect it has on you. These are simple things to fix.
With great benefits.
I will be back for the other part of your post.. later.
The post that I linked that was on FB2's stitch.. they linked to my "catch up" story. FB2 says if you want more info about FG and there were 2 links. I will try and see where they are hidden at now.
Hope you had a good weekend.. I gotta do some Work.. and get them bills paid!
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
