Question

[Lucky11too]

Wow! Congrats on the end of school! That sure came fast! =)

Well hopefully those dreams don't come true, but it does give you something to watch out for. It sounds like H is in his normal cycle again and your at the ignoring stage, but luckily, you have your own things going on. It sounds like an exciting weekend ahead! =) And great job on the house once again. It sounds like it is all really coming together!

[awest1217]

Nothing big going on. My back is having problems from all the yard work actually my psyatic. Busy, Busy weekend ahead, but everything is done so it should just be fun.

H is once again ignoring me, which honestly is annoying and I really want to just go off on him, but I am really trying not to. I sent him a text last night and one this morning, but no reply. I have no clue what is going on again. The last thing I got from him was Monday night. He said he was sorry for snapping at me because I was trying to hold some type of conversation with him (always texting) and he snappy at me because he wanted to be left alone since he didn't feel well. Since then, nothing. I didn't respond to his i'm sorry text because it was late and I was in bed so I decided to not respond. I just don't get it. Like I said I just want to tell him off because...it would just feel good. I won't of course. I might try to text him one more time today after school, but if he doesn't respond to that, I am just going to forget it, and when he does decide to contact me...well I just may not respond either.

[awest1217]

I am not going to contact H. I really wanted to just because then I could get a reason to go off on him, but there really is no reason.

I have moved almost everything into my new room! I am very excited. Nothing is organized so I will be doing that this summer, but at least all the big stuff is moved. I may try to finish today so that I don't have to do it next week, but we will see.

Exciting weekend ahead and now that I have a lot of stuff moved, I don't feel as much anxiety.

[Lucky11too]

Yes, I was actually just about to suggest too not to contact H from your earlier post. You made the extra effort by texting him last night and this morning, and since he doesn't want to respond, then there is no reason for you to keep pushing him. Although sometimes it's easier to say then to do, go enjoy your GREAT weekend ahead of you and try to keep H out of your head!

[ClingingToHope]

Maybe it's time to go ULTRA dark. Stop texting him at all or calling. Just a thought. Force his hand. Either he's all in or all out.

Or you could continue on the path.

I don't know the right answer. I'm well on the way of the D train so obviously I have no great insight.

Have fun this weekend. Is the weather as nice there as it is here? I'm still waiting to see if I'll be in Madison, Wis., working. If not, I've got some options around here. But I would like the money.

[Lucky11too]

I agree CTH. Awest - I don't blame you at all for putting yourself out there, trying to keep the communication open, and trying to save the R, but if he's not responding to you, then it's not working. He knows exactly where you stand and that you love him and want to be with him. You have no reason to contact him now (except for in emergencies), and no reason even to update him about S (he's chosen not to be in S's life, so if he wants to know what's going on, he can ask). Just do your thing, have fun, and if H wants back in, he knows where to find you. I think you are coming to this conclusion too, but just stick with it. Well, I really hope you have a wonderful weekend to start off this great summer! =)

[awest1217]

It has been a long busy weekend. So far, everything is going well. My brother and sister-in-law from TN aren't being the most cordial, but that is nothing new. They finally got me a christmas present, but they say they have had it since Christmas when I know they got it when they got here because they got me some stuff that didn't come out until May. At least I got something, but I still think no gift exchange next year...

H text me while I was at the commencement so I waited until S needed a time to get out and let him know that we were out of town. He seemed a little strange about that, but that is good. He is starting to not know where we will be or what we are doing so I like that. He then text me later about how it was and to tell my in town family that he said Hi. (I didn't as that would cause even more problems). Yesterday we text back and forth for a while. He said something about how he got "coach of the year" and how he is getting paid to go into work this summer to work on curriculum. Must be nice. I just said that was great, but that means less and less time with us and with the coach of the year just sets in more how he is better with his students than his own kids, which is sad.

I am getting more and more mail just addressed to me or to S and I which is new, and weird. My dad finally got my swing up after three years of me bugging H to do it. I have to paint the frame, but it looks great. I asked H what he thought because he stopped by to pick up some stuff...he said it is different, and he doesn't know what to think. Surprise surprise. He probably feels horrible because I have improved the house and he never did. Everyone who came over loved what I have done.

Tomorrow and Wednesday I have to work, but with the busy weekend and my allergies acting up...I don't know if I am going to make it. Also in other news. My brother is taking over some stuff at church and I get to be the new sunday school superintendent which will keep me busy over the summer working on my curriculum that I am writing and making things look nice. So excited!

[ClingingToHope]

This all sounds good. What are your summer plans?

[awest1217]

I am mad, mad, mad! OW was at my in-laws yesterday. I am hurt. I am mad. I just want to throw his junk out and make him hurt as much as he has hurt me, but I can't because there is nothing that can touch him. He is doing great at work, he has OW, his family, and doesn't care in the least that he hasn't seen S in over two weeks...AHHHHHHHHHH!

[Kalni]

Sh!t!!! I know the feeling. You have to show self control. Calm down. And then DO what you feel is right. Throw his things out, I agree...