The tone of your H emails tells you loads. He doesn't like this new independent Mila who is able to live life by her rules.
He knows the old Mila and he could predict your evey move. Now you are doing 180's he is unsure where he stands and it is starting to wind him up. He is not sure of his foorting anymore. This in turn will niggle OW as he spends more time trying to figure you out.
Mila it is definitely a control thing with your h regarding the emails. I think it's rather comical. Can you respond to these emails when I send them. Kind of reminded me of myself in the beginning with my own h, hence the control that I am trying so desperately to relinquish. Bad habit to break!
I love going to the movies by myself too. I did this before h too. I can watch what I want when I want and enjoy the popcorn all by myself. Love it!
Here are a few more GAL ideas to add to your list:
Hot Pink stilletos you can pick up cheap online and just have them lying about when your h stops in
Facial check local beauty schools for cheap prices
Lace lingerie to wear to bed at night and casually drop it on the floor when h is over oooops fell onto the floor
Satin Sheets summer is coming up
Victoria Secret or Bath and Body Works lotions and sprays. I use the spray as an air freshener too. Usually can pick up for around $5 each
Spa pillow for your evening bubble baths. I like Black Amethyst Bath and Body Works Bubble Bath and then slip into that lace lingerie before bed
Pick up some nice workout clothes to go with that gym membership. I personally like Nike and can get them on sale at Macy's or Nordstrom Rack.
Take yourself to lunch and conveniently be leaving when your h arrives. Dressed to the hilt. Black boots, Hot Pink Stilletos, pencil skirt are all good choices.
Enjoy your day! Ha Ha!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Hey Jack thanks for checking on me I'm really good, It feels like I turned a corner...I'm leaving him behind...on with my life...let him do what he must...I'll do what I must do.
I know that he will still get to me with his craziness, but I'm resolved to just rant about it, I'm not letting him bring me down anymore.
Libby & glam - he is such a control freak now....I was thinking if he was always this controlling....and I guess he was in some ways but there was lots of love as well from him so it kind of balanced everything. Now there is no love and he still wants to be in control...yeah right, in your dreams buddy....
Glam - wow pretty hot stuff...I don't know if I can do the hot pink Stilettos...but never say never, right?
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
is that they are tricks, you want him to be interested in you for you, not because of what you might be doing (OR WHO)...or in this case actually NOT doing.
You want them interested for the right reasons.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Hey Mila...just caught up on your thread. I always hated it when my H would get me upset. I guess the upsetting parts were always that he seemed so happy without me. I would be in tears many times when he would come around, but then ok when I wouldnt see him. Sounds like your H is trying to find a way to still be in your life...my H would always volunteer to do stuff around the house and as hard as it was for me to see him, I would let him most of the time because I knew it would bother the OW haha. But I did learn to do alot of things myself. I hated asking him to do stuff for me. It was a great learning experience! I learned to mow and trim my yard, I even fixed my dryer once when it tore up! I was determined NOT to ask him to do it!!!
I think you are doing great. Detaching is very hard. I dont think it was something I learned to do very well. Hope you are having a great day!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I here you Jack. Those were not intended as tricks. That complete list I do, but not for my h but for myself. Just giving Mila ideas on some things I do.
The part about leaving them out in plain sight for my h might be a bit overboard, but I also don't hide them. My h has sure made some interesting comments about them, but again the list is for pampering myself with things I like.
Remember Jack I am a glamgirl that loves girlie sexy things, so none of that list is unusual for me, but hey Mila might want to try some for herself. It's ok to try new things and take care of ourselves. Ha Ha Ha!
Last edited by glamgirl; 06/01/1010:23 PM.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I did learn to do alot of things myself. ............... It was a great learning experience! I learned to mow and trim my yard, I even fixed my dryer once when it tore up! I was determined NOT to ask him to do it!!!
Confidence is $exy!!!!!! Don't you find yourself attracted to confident men? I know I do. Carry yourself with a confident air and others will be attracted to you.
Originally Posted By: glamgirl
I am a glamgirl that loves girlie sexy things, so none of that list is unusual for me
GG, now I know where you got your nome de plume. You go girl! I just don't like scratchy lace. GG, do you know where a person can find soft lace? Used to love Olga lingerie.....nice soft, stretchy lace....but I don't think it's made any more.
Mila, these ideas are worth 'trying on' to see if they suit you. I really like your GAL list! Do you have 'Groupons' or 'Living Social' coupons in your area? These are e-mail listserves you can subscribe to and each day you are e-mailed an offer for a discounted service or restaurant deal. For example, I just paid $25 for a Groupon worth $50 at a fabulous restaurant on the river in town. It expires in 1 year. If you haven't already, try checking it out.
is that they are tricks, you want him to be interested in you for you, not because of what you might be doing (OR WHO)...or in this case actually NOT doing.
You want them interested for the right reasons.
Why would a jealousy be a wrong reason? I think it would be much better than him coming back because OW dumped him again.
It is obvious that he loves Mila, (he's just not 'in love' ). Seems to me it would be a good thing if jealously re-ignited his passion for her.
Lingerie is a bit over the top, but given his reaction to a bit of darkness, I'll bet that being more mysterious about what you are doing, and with whom, may well get him to wondering.
IF in the course of GALing a person decides to dress up that is great and good for them.
If in the course of GALing they lose track of Getting aLife and dress up so that they did it to provoke a reaction from their spouse, then it is failing the idea of GALing and it is a trick to get a reaction out of the spouse.
If the spouse comes back for no better reason than territorial pissing or jealousy without having come through their MLC then their going to jet back into the tunnel.
If the MLCer thinks that the LBSer is screwing around on them interested in someone else I think it justifies some of their poor choices in their MLC heads.
But, thats just my take on it.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK