Well, now he wants to know how to "get back to me". And suggested that we all live together on the other side of the continent (just thousands of miles away from our current location). Any thoughts?!?!
SCH - not sure what that means "get back to me" does he mean to reconnect with you?
Live on the other side of the continent? Wow...he is still searching for something, he still doesn't have it all figured out. How many radical changes did he propose in the last couple of months?
I like that you are going out and NOT thinking about H....thumbs up
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Mila, yes, reconnect, as I am pretty detached. Interesting that you say the latest proposition is re: searching, though I also think partly it is a way to escape/start over as I think he is realizing now what he did.
SCH - You may be right about this "escape and start over". I just remembered how your H didn't want anyone to know that it was his choice to leave you...yup he may be too embarrassed...
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Thanks, Mila. Though I don't know what if anything I should do about it. I worked so hard on "detaching" that I don't know how to "reconnect" or if I want to right now. And after all this grief about the kids staying put in "my" city, he would really consider moving them thousands of miles away from any family and friends?
SCH - I don't blame you that you feel that way, I also think that I wouldn't want to just leave everything behind and move away with him without knowing where your relationship is. The "reconnecting" should be done first at least to the point that you somewhat trust him again, before you uproot your whole family and follow him into the unknown.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Mila - Thank you! Once again you have "spoken" with such common sense, and I really appreciate it. Now he's not on about that anymore. Round and round!
OK, please, what would you do, please advise! DB's, friends, readers, anyone please!!
WH is supposed to finish sep papers but is stalling. Says he really wants to reconcile, go another 20 years, misses me greatly, and so on.
BUT, NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!!! He does not know how he would live here, nor does he want us to move to his city, but he thinks he has to stay there to work because he can't work here. He also doesn't want to split the house finances which a sep agreemement will formally do, and he misses his kids. I don't want my kids growing up thinking that they can be 1/2 in and 1/2 out of a relationship, live in another city, etc etc. He doesnt' know how to get out of this mess, has no plan, says we will figure it out as "WE" go forward.
WHAT DO I DO?
Do I tell him to go away (i.e. go dark, dim, or just not play), which will lead to sep and D? Do I "reconcile" and have a partner but not one that lives with me?
GRRRRrrrrrr.... it's the same darned thing over and over and over again. Now he's texting, think about us, I miss us, will you come back.... WHAT IS HE DOING? WHY? WHAT DO I DO????????
