I was pretty upset last night...I was talking to a friend of ours who said my H told him 6 months ago that he wasn't sure he wanted to be married. I was so angry about it, when I got home last night, I was punching the pillows on my H's side of the bed. What my friend told me made me feel so used...I do understand it part of the MLC MO but it still makes me angry.
I think my H is out of town tomorrow so I don't think the divorce papers will be filed...unless he left instructions for someone else to do it...that wouldn't surprise me either. It doesn't matter, I'm done pushing for anything right now...it doesn't matter, the damage has already been done on both side.
It amazings me to think about that we would be going along just as we had been as long as I hadn't rock the boat...but since I did, we completely flipped over and capsized. He was obviously at the controls and could handle the few small waves I made...very sad.
glam-I am happy to hear that your H is making progress...I hope and pray he continues. There would be nothing better than for him to be home with you and your kids. As far as my H goes, I have been sitting back and watching the show...I thought it was going to have a happy ending but it looks like there is a big twist and the end. I have always been a hopeless romantic so it isn't the way I like to see shows end and I really doubt there will be a sequel cause the first show had such a bad ending.
peace- You always are able to encourage me even when I am doubting myself. Thank you. I hate the way this is turning out but I think I always knew it wasn't meant to be. I think I just convinced myself that thing would get better. Who knows what the future has in store but I am just taking it a day at time right now...however I am preparing myself for the worst. Regardless, as you say, I will be okay.
Grace- Of course your daughters are amazing, they take after their mother!!! Glad your oldest D is staying close to home...I think in most case, it helps to make the transition easier for everyone.
Quote:
I use to get upset/angry about was that I was doing "all the work". The truth is, I have to, because I'm the only one it matters to.
I can see what you are saying here, however I want to be a team with someone where at least some of the things that matter to me, matter to him as well. I like your positivity and goal setting...something I definately need to work on. I will get there.
The more I think about it, I have just given my H a way out...he will just continue to blame me for the divorce rather than look at himself. I tried to minimize it by letting him know I don't want the D, but I think he will still find a way to twist things around in his mind...and he will be the jilted one!
Thanks everyone for your input. In some ways, this has been a hard few days for me to get through. I am fine and will make it through regardless of what the next few days bring.
