I think most of us can relate to feeling like our heart has been ripped out.
It is not that your W won't HEAR what you say/write, she will hear it just fine but right now, IMO of course, it will simply reinforce that she can treat you however she wants and you will still be there.
Your W has no reason to change anything. Why talk about the M when you will keep doing what she wants? And right now you are letting her call all the shots with the house, not holding her accountable for doing chores at the house and she is living her life without any responsibility. If she wants to move on that is fine but why are you enabling her to move forward without wrapping up her marriage?
You have not given your W any idea what it will be like when you are not around. And trust me, while she might not like it in theory she knows you are around.
You cannot force your W to talk about the R or M (obviously) but you an let her know that this will not continue unless the circumstances drastically change. If she is unwilling to participate in improvement then you will make the decision on your own and move on.
Think about it... you were depressed about your business and now you are depressed about your W. How many years does that make that were/are filled with depression? Take charge of your life.
Honestly, since your W is being so stubborn and refuses to communicate about *anything*, especially something as simple as running the vacuum, I would tell her in a firm manner it ends now.
Hi W!
As I told you last week I have decided to move back to the house therefore I will be taking the lead with the agent. If you desire, I will be happy to copy you on all messages and give you updates when applicable.
The agent's contract is ending soon. At that time I will decide if I will keep the house or leave it on the market. Once I have decided about the house I will have my attny forward you all necessary documentation.
You have not yet furnished me with a schedule on when you plan to follow through with your share of the upkeep on the house. When can I expect it to be done?
You need to show yourself and your W that you are making plans with or without her and if it comes down to "without" there will be very little consideration of her needs as you need to look out for #1 (that is you!).
You will be pleasant and polite but you will no longer allow her to disrupt your mind and heart as she has been doing for the past 7 months. Should she choose to step up and communicate with you in a mature fashion then perhaps you can loosen your stance a bit but until then, plan for the best life you can for you.
