embracing change

[flowmom]

Do you have a legal separation agreement in place? I think after what he had just implied I would check into it pretty quickly. Forensic accounting could be very expensive...

No, we don't have a legal separation agreement in place. My L recommended that I not push that forward since H is currently paying the mortgage and giving me money. I'll likely be worse off after the agreement is in place.

He's trying to make you confused and act like he is out in front of you on this.

That's very possible.

could he also be retaliating or trying to throw that threat in your face because you borrowed money in the first place?
I thought he was resentful of the fact that you don't bring in more income.

He told me the day after that my email about that provoked a "huge wave of anxiety" in him. I think he might have been somewhat freaking out. But he has been very persistent about following up on it, so he definitely has a specific idea of how things should be going.

I would do as others suggest- that other conversation you and I had about "date of legal separation" and what that means financially - I thought you guys already hit that date- don't know about the great north, but here I've been told that that means debts incurred are now separate- better check with your L.

That's a good point Alice. We do not have a legal separation agreement in place, but our legal separation date was Jan 3. It would be good to know how debts are divvyed up after that date. That's not something that I asked my L. Not that it really matters since I know that both H and I are trying to minimize debts and expenses right now.

Did I miss something? Did your H file for a D?

No he hasn't, but his email seems to indicate that his intentions are very clear. Plus he may be waiting for the diagnosis process with S6 to be over since I had told him that I wanted to concentrate on that before proceeding with mediation. That bought me some time, thank goodness, but the clock may be ticking from his end.