What does this mean?- the WH's regrets?

[Piano]

Good on you Gatsby, I think it was also a success. I am happy the 'peace' idea appealed. I am starting to think it is normal that these WHs (and many 'normal' husbands for that matter) just don't connect with babies while they are inside their mum's tums, so not to worry if he's not too interested yet. It will be entirely another matter when she is born. That's when his fatherhood will really be tested, and I think you should just carry on as you did today post the birth.
I am thrilled he was curious about you....I think he misses you.
I know we've said not to worry about tears too much (that they often mean they feel sorry for themselves) but I think it was good he was able to cry in front of you.
Thanks for the update!

[newmama]

+ He said he could try to install the carseat. It ended up taking probably 35 minutes. He was rather frustrated. I was apologetic. Then I realized I was apologetic and I switched to just being appreciative. I specifically said "I really really appreciate this; I could have never done it myself."

+ I didn't want to end with such frustration, so I asked if he wanted frigerated club soda. He said no. I asked if he was sure and he said okay. So I ran in and got him some. I'm very glad I was able to do that. I know it's something he wanted.

WELL DONE! BRAVO!!!

Bad stuff:

+ He didn't appear too interested in the baby. Asked nothing about her.

IMO- He feels guilty. (as he should)

+ He cried a couple of times. (I don't know if this is bad, but it's not good.)

same as above- they cry because they feel bad about themselves for doing this...not for you. GRRRRR! (IMO of course)

+ The carseat was pretty frustrating and probably reinforced his whole "I can't do this" feeling

I was thinking that he succeeded in doing a difficult task and you were appreciateive- and obviously he could see that it would be really hard for you to install( being 9 months pregnant!) so it might have helped him feel like he did something to help. In short, IMO I think the car seat was a GOOD THING (as Martha would say, lol!)

I wonder if he was talking about that guy who nodded at me. We actually saw him twice, so. . .

I bet you he was!!!!!

Overall, I have peace. I am worried about his fatherhood still. He didn't embrace that as much as I hoped he would.

Don't worry- you will just have to wait and see. Some men truly don't "get it" until the baby is born. Did he attend any ultrasounds? I can't remember.

Wow, it really sounds so positive over all!! When will you see him next?

[newmama]

Oh and I totally agree with Piano- He MISSES you for sure!

[gatsby11]

Hey! I guess adrenaline has kept me up late tonight. Thanks for posting, gals!

No, he didn't attend any ultrasounds. He did go to one appointment with me to hear the heartbeat. You guys could be right. He will probably still "come round" to her after she's born.

I won't see him again until after the baby is born. I would rather be around him by ourselves, I think. And not with family all around. I might change the visiting situation, since this meeting was positive, to it being the 3 of us (him me her) instead of him her and his family. Don't know. Going to think about it; don't want to be too hasty.

Yeah, it's nice to be missed. If I have nothing else from him for the rest of my life, I know I had that now.

K, I'm checking your threads and THEN I'm going to sleep!

[Piano]

. I would rather be around him by ourselves, I think. And not with family all around.

I think this is really important, G. When my WH came in to meet the baby, my step-father arrived 10mins later & I really was sorry for that. Give him privaliged time. Make it special.

g'night!

[gatsby11]

Just sayin' hi. Was looking for a white newborn cap and I found it, yay! Ate a bit too much ice cream and feel rather guilty.

Went to the eye doctor, got a year's worth of contacts. But for me that will last two years, 'cause I always wear the 2-week contacts for at least a month.

See? Nothing really to say. But hi. No one has to respond.

[TimeHeals]

Yeah, I got nuthin' either.

[newmama]

Umm...there will be NO GUILT associated with eating during your last month of pregnancy! For goodness sakes- you haven't gained much as it is! I gained 80 pounds but have lost 65 by now. My point is that if you gain 5 pounds this last month of your pregnancy, who cares- you will lose it if I was able to lose 65 pounds!

sorry I didn't mean to come off so strong, lol!

About the newborn cap- that brings back great memories! S wore a cap for the first 2 months! WH was obsessive about it- it was funny since S was born in the summer. But I didn't object...dads need their space to be dads without our interference (unless they REALLY screw up!)

[Piano]

Ditto re: icecream in the last month of my pregnancy - I never ate so much before in my life. And full glasses of milk (cows milk too & i normally drink soy!).

And...ha ha...ditto re contact lenses! :-)

[Piano]

About the newborn cap- that brings back great memories! S wore a cap for the first 2 months! WH was obsessive about it- it was funny since S was born in the summer. But I didn't object...dads need their space to be dads without our interference (unless they REALLY screw up!)

So true. We all learn by trial and error when it comes to parenting. And as walk-away dads, their lessons are further apart. You will be leading, G, but give WH space when she comes to do it 'his way'. And don't be too shocked, like I was, if he is very clumsy in the beginning holding her and everything. Look the other way!

Re the cap, yeah I just popped a little green and grey striped number on my bub - we went for our first walk on this late-Autumn day.