Actually I think you are right about both. Of course he isn't decent for doing this but he is trying to be polite.
And I am not forgetting that I don't like how weak he is being/has been.
If I have to file, I fear that it is this "weakness" in him that would let him go through with the D EVEN IF HE STILL LOVES ME because he would be too weak to do the hard work of R, and to give up his trashy Springer hot mess of a girlfriend.
I just think that if he didn't still love me, it would be easier for him to divorce. If he didn't love me, I would be able to divorce him a lot easier, too! I wish I could know for sure.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
You said "I fear that it is this "weakness" in him that would let him go through with the D EVEN IF HE STILL LOVES ME because he would be too weak to do the hard work of R, and to give up his trashy Springer hot mess of a girlfriend."
How do you feel about this?
I have an Aunt, her H was so nice, did anything and everything for her...she ended up Ding him...she couldn't stand him! Maybe he was too nice or maybe there are things that I will never know but...
Have you ever seen or read the book "Gone With the Wind"? Scarlet OHara is in love with Ashley but he loves Melanie but the whole time he kinda leads Scarlet on...it is like, he wants her...badly, but there is also Miss Melanie...she is sweet and innocent...ok, not sure where I am going with this...are you Scarlet or Melanie? Is your H Ashley? Trying to please 2 women at the same time? The point is...it can't be done...he is going to have to chose one of these days. I am hoping and praying for you that his attachment to his son will influence his choice in the right direction!!!!
I am not sure that my reference to GWTW makes any sense at all but it is a good movie and when you mentioned "weak" Ashley Wilkes is who I thought of!!! If you have never seen it...watch it sometime!! Very good movie for that time period!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Also, there will always be a Rhett in the future if Ashley doesn't work out!!! lol Scarlet didn't know about DBing back then even though she was a headstrong woman...ex.
"As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again."
I just have to throw this one in the as I LOVE it! My favorite line in the movie!
" No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."
And, if things don't work out with our H's and we move on someday there is this...
" Scarlett: Rhett, Rhett... Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do? Rhett Butler: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Yes I saw GWTW but it was probably 20 years ago. I should see it again! No, I wouldn't want Ashley..I do know now that I want to remarry one day though! Maybe that will help S to see an example of a good,healthy relationship.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Yee ha! I just spent 5 hours putting together the toy kitchen!! Sure there are a couple of wobbly parts (the hinges had tiny screws and were a b!@#h to install) and I did have to reassemble a piece..or 3...but I did it!
I admit that I can't wait to see what WH will say when he drops off S!
And I watched a couple of other movies while doing it. Victor/Victoria-gee, if a man REALLY loves you, he will pretend to be gay if you were performing as a man performing as a woman! lol!
Also Harry Met Sally... it used to be one of my favorites but watching it just now sort of left me uneasy. I don't know why.I did like hearing all the old couples sharing the story of how they met...some reunited!
But Anne and Gilbert's story has always been my romantic favorite. I learned something this time when watching it that I will share in my next post!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Watched "Serious Moonlight" w/ Meg today. Hysterical, sad, uses WS/mlc script. Betrayed wife tapes her H to the toilet..... Wanna go buy Duct tape!!!
I can't stand gushy romances yet. OW showed H "Bridges of Madison County" when convincing him to an A, saying "see, we will never know what might have been. we need to know..." Barf
Congrats on the kitchen!!!
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
No I didn't see SATC2 because the darn kitchen took so long!So WH just dropped off S, he checked the structure and said it seemed pretty good. I told him it took me 5 hours! Hopefully he didn't think about that too much because I lied and said I had plans- was wearing my new dress when he picked S up at 11. But I could have done it since I returned at 1, right?
Anyway S went to pull open an oven door and it totally slammed on his head which made him cry. Great. So WH said "WE could get some slow release hinges for these doors. I can get some at the store next time I go" I said "ok. I want him to have this for a few years!"
Then he shared some stuff about S sleeping and said "I don't know if he does it over here, but..." and NO he doesn't wake up at 5 with me! Anyway he also talked about giving him tylenol (he does every time he is fussy when he is over there) and then added that he saw some generic tylenol at the store (I told him I couldn't find any infant tylenol drops).
OK so I said we could meet him in the parking lot tomorrow and he said that would be great (yeah- all that driving, POOR GUY)and I gave a fake little smile (why? I don't know). I am so disappointed in WH that I am almost grossed out by him. then I swear he was a little choked up when he said goodbye to S. wtf???
OK about Anne and Gilbert. Both were top of their class. They tied all the time. Anne would do things that only the "boys" would do like participate in 3 legged races and walk on rooftops (for a dare) and do other adventurous stuff. Gilbert would try to help her and she would turn him down, vehemently! SHE WAS PERFECTLY CAPABLE thank you very much! Well this made him totally respect and pursue her and it made for great "chemistry" between them. Gilbert wanted to date her in college (as did Anne) but she said they were just friends. So then he dated others and one day became sick with Scarlett Fever. Anne realized then how she truly felt about him and then he recovered and they kissed on top of a bridge overlooking a creek. Awwww! Yes they married and apparently there is another set of books about her family and a video, too!
My point is that the whole "I CAN DO IT MYSELF" attitude was a turn on to Gilbert and it made for great bantering and chemistry. So I have to do things myself anyway, since I am a single mom, BUT it would be a nice side effect if WH found it attractive.
Last edited by newmama; 06/01/1001:24 AM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
