Mila, I so understand about looking at your H & just not liking him anymore. It's so hard to remember that they are just...gone.
Replaced by this *thing* that sort of looks like him...kinda. The proverbial evil twin. I'm trying not to take things so personally, it's not easy. But seeing this new person as opposed to my old H helps. These men are strangers to us now, we have to take away their power to hurt us anymore. It's not easy.
Libby is right on when she said it ain't over. When they find that the new R they thought they wanted is going to be just like the old R because the problem was with THEM and not their spouses...oh, buddy. Look out. And I love SA's comment about letting go & giving OW the time and room to fail at giving h his perfect life. You bring the popcorn, I'll bring the beer, we'll watch the show together.
I can't imagine what it's going to be like after 36 years to finally be on your own, but I think you have a wonderful opportunity here. I loved my time alone before I got married, I got to figure out who the *real* me was. Of course I promptly forgot about her after the babies arrived...but that's another post.
You get the chance to figure out what it is you want to do with your life, even if your just starting out with figuring out what to do with your days.
Before I was married, I had NO problem going out to eat or to a movie by myself. Granted, I don't think I went on a Saturday night, but I did go. I really enjoyed those times.
What are some of the things you are looking forward to doing now? Just on your own? Even start small--trying out the new bistro, trying out that new blues club, take a class in *anything* you find interesting. Our local adult ed programs offer everything from tech classes for careers, to cake decorating to belly dancing. (I took a belly dancing class like 20 years ago, with my mom!! It was more fun than you can imagine! lol)
Look deep down and think of one thing, just ONE, that you've always wanted to try. Tell me what it is.
I'll tell you mine...
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
