My advice would be to back way the hell off (stop pursuing her and "temperature-checking" the relationship), and spend that energy in some good, independent intel to find out if there is someone else.
The problem with letting her make all the the moves is that she is NOT the one who has the marriage's best interests at heart right now. If it were me, I'd want the moves to be made by someone who did, and that would be ME.
Look, I could be wrong -- there's not ALWAYS someone else. But my experience in studying thousands of these is that when behaviors like hers are presented, there is appr. 65-90% of the time. Either an EA or PA, or someone she has her eye on (emerging EA).
