I'd like to ask this, though maybe it deserves its own thread...
About the claim that we marry our parent or ex, or someone with whom we have unfinished business.
Do you ever wonder if that is a an old wives tale?
When we get with someone new, we ARE going to try to work on past issues. Shouldn't that be a given? We can do a lot in the context of friendships, but we need a romantic partner to do it with the things specific to romantic love.
But it won't matter WHO we are with, some of the same issues will certainly arise.
Let me use my current guy as an example: he's expressed fear that I would get bored. I assume this is something a woman told him. She was bored, she moved on...without him. In talking with a friend, I asked her, "How can I be different, respond differently, when I'm being given the same few options as everyone before me?"
Perhaps that tells you something about me: I don't back down from a challenge? Crap...
I noticed this the other night when my friend and I were in a phone call, and she said, "Maybe you're just being filtered from his life. It's okay if you can't handle his withdrawal. Don't be too hard on yourself." I have very wise friends. My response?
"When you say that, I feel myself saying, 'BULL! If anyone can do this, I CAN!" WTH? I told her that, too, and she said that I need to be careful not to wear myself down. And maybe therein lies the rub, because my life is so hectic, I just don't have the energy or enough ME to spread myself that thinly.
This is one of the reasons backing off to "just friends" with him was somewhat of an attractive option. I expressed those intentions to him, before my conversation with my friend, and to my delight, it was one of her suggestions. That helped me know I was on the right track.
Okay, I have some things I need to run and do. Thank you, SO MUCH for your replies. I want to stick around and read, but life calls. lol.
