I am so angry at the disrespect shown to me and what H and I have tried to build all these years. I had said as much to him on Friday and he said life YOU wanted to have. When I asked him what his answer was every time I asked him what he wanted, he told me I wanted YOU to be happy so I went along with you. I told him that was not what I needed or expected from him. I needed honesty about his needs and wants and that he never gave me a chance to be the partner he needed me to be.
Of course, being rational to a MLCer is like trying to get two magnets of the same force to touch each other - futile!
At this moment, I'm not sure I'm standing or what I'm doing. All I know is that I'm angry, frustrated and hurt and don't know what the hel! to do with those feelings as I've never been able to deal with my emotions effectively or with grace. I was never allowed to as a child and I'm lost at how to do it as an adult.
There is so much organization-wise I need to do in my and my childrens' life to make it easier and better (that H prevented me to do because his childhood was rigidly structured and ruled by an iron fist). It ticks me off that I can't get H and his BS out of my head long enough to do it because of those emotions that I don't know what to do with...
God this sucks... I feel like I'm barely treading water...
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
