As prairiegirl suggested, I think influencing him is a good idea.
Hey Luvs, Ummm... I don't think that's the whole idea I was trying to convey. Simply put, I think I was just trying to say more along the lines of what Time just posted. That if you want something from him, you have to ask for it. Clearly, specifically and consistently. If our Hs/SOs don't know what we want, we'll never get it. And therefore have no right to complain about not getting it! Now, that being said the 'getting' of whatever behaviour you're needing isn't the only goal. The other goal is to hear yourself saying what you need, and stand in the fact that for you to be happy in an intimate relationship, whatever that need was, is in fact one of your needs. So I don't think I was trying to say 'influence' him per se. Don't know if I'm being clear, sorry, worked part of the weekend and am a bit of a mushbrain today!
(PS - not that you're complaining, just said that more to remind myself of it! )
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
) 