I just re-read your entire thread. I think you were handling this perfectly, but maybe where you slipped up and veered off track was the day you posted that "he has since locked me out of all of his e-mail accounts." THAT is the day you should have come down hard on him, telling him that "I can be left with no other conclusion than you're still in contact with OW, or at least you want to be able to. I think I have some decisions to make."
That, and the morning you told him "I will give you your space." When a wayward spouse asks for "space," it simply means "I want space in which to conduct my affair, unencumbered." It's a fine DB line to walk, because we do actually have to GIVE them space, but you can't TELL them that you are because they take it as tacit approval of their infidelity. You give them space by your ACTIONS -- by "dropping the rope."
I think you should go back and re-read those early posts by Newmama, and re-find your center and your moral strength. You're REALLY close to getting it, but I think you slipped up just a bit, and your husband -- addicted as he is to OW -- drove right thru the loophole.
