How do I do that when I'm dark? When I show him "happy" Mila that would mean that I'm friendly towards him. I don't know how to do both at the same time....Am I missing something?
I think that is why you have to go dark. Your WH "see's" you a certain way right now, and that way is not helping yours and his relationship. By going dark you put time and distance between that view he has of you, and the real you. And during that time you become stronger. So that when a little time has passed, he will come back to seeing the actual Mila that he knows and loved. Does that make sense?
The control thing that people talk about... it's really common... in their rule book. The first family L I ever saw told me they do this (and I thought, at the time, not my H!!!!). Said he's seen it a million times. I think we have to accept the control issue exists, and work from that premise.
Re: fb - I "unfriended" WH early on, and thought form time-to-time that I shouldn't have, however, I am mostly glad I did because he has to wonder what I am doing now. And as I get stronger I am happier, and if he hears reportss back from any common friends (not many there!) he will only hear how great I am doing. Just my experience though.
